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Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. v. 4
Jobs are an important aspect for a person' s life. It provides security, means of livelihood and helps to achieve goals and dreams. Some people think that holding the same jobs for decades are satisfying and gives them an overall happiness for the service that they provide to the same company. In my opinion, changing jobs from time to time helps us for the reasons of job security, further growth in a field we have studied for and also helps us to take leaps of faith to further our careers. Job security is very important and we all want to be able to perform our best in a very relaxed atmosphere. This is because we are so used to the norms of the company and do not want to change. for example, my friend worked as a doctor for the same hospital for 30 years. He knew each patients well but the work become monotonous. On the other hand, it does not help to give our best in a challenging situation and we become threatened and depressed when there is a slight change in what we do routinely. Growth in career in as much important as job security. Everyone like to step up the ladder of success in their career and the profession they have dedicated themselves to. for example, a junior doctor will one day want to be a senior doctor in the institution that he works in. This can be achieved only if we are able to take challenging work and thus bring growth into our careers in the long run. Furthermore changing jobs from time to time helps the employers recognize the value of the person. He is available to take new challenges and thus upgrade his profession and career. This enables to be more vibrant and not stagnant at the same job for years and years. He is able to get diverse experience from a number of different companies and thus able to incorporate that in his new company. In conclusion, I would always prefer changing jobs from time to time to enjoy a life of new experiences, new friends and a higher rate of growth in the career for which I have worked hard for.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Jobs
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect for a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s life. It provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
, means of livelihood and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to achieve goals and dreams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that holding the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for decades are satisfying and gives them an
overall
happiness for the service that they provide to the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. In my opinion, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us for the reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
,
further
growth in a field we have studied for and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
us to take leaps of faith to
further
our careers.

Job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
we all want to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to perform our best in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
relaxed atmosphere. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to the norms of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, my friend worked as a doctor for the same hospital for 30 years. He knew each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "patient"?
patients
well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the work become monotonous.
On the other hand
, it does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to give our best in a challenging
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
we become threatened and depressed when there is a slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in what we do
routinely
.

Growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
in as much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
. Everyone like to step up the ladder of success in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and the profession they have dedicated themselves to.
for example
, a junior doctor will one day want to be a senior doctor in the institution that he works in. This can
be achieved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to take challenging work and
thus
bring growth into our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
in the long run.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
the employers recognize the value of the person. He is available to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
challenges and
thus
upgrade his profession and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. This enables to be more vibrant and not stagnant at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for years and years. He is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diverse experience from a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to incorporate that in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

In conclusion
, I would always prefer changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy a life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends and a higher rate of growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
for which I have worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think one should stay all their life in the same job, whereas others advocate changing jobs from time to time. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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