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The use of violence in music lyrics and, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people? v.2

The use of violence in music lyrics and, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people? v. 2
Opponents of the violence in the entertaining products are bothered by the issue of how it may influence on the kids. This essay will EXPLAIN possible hazards of the situation and provide some practical solutions to reduce the effects on the youth. Perhaps the major challenge of childreN watching the cruel content might lead to aggressive behavior in schools. The young psyche is not stable, so atrocity inside of the video games and songs may contribute to the bullying and abuse in the school environment and everyday news is an evidence to this. A further serious problem appears to be in implementing the brutal force as an acceptable way to achieve the purposes, especially if it appeals to the other people. For instance, the main character in action movies could play a role model for the youngsters due to THEIR fame and attraction, however, it does not deny the fact of THEJR violent actions against enemies. Thus, these manners dilute kids’ critical thinking and make their upbringing DETERIORATED. Turning to the counteracting measures of these potential dangers, first of all, an appropriate method seems to be censorship from the governmental side. It is a widely-spread practice in the range of Central Asia countries and it gives reasonable outcomes. If more states took this step, it would greatly reduce the creation of this kind of performance. Secondly, psychologists have observed the point that the number of family interactions has a direct impact on the kids' self-confidence and sustainability. So, parents should consider spending enough time with their descents, explaining a difference between right and wrong actions. It is logical to conclude that the assault in music text, video and games has some harmful consequences on the child’s perception. The coordinated initiatives both from the authorities and individuals are surely needed to cope with the case.
Opponents of the violence in the entertaining products
are bothered
by the issue of how it may influence on the kids. This essay will
EXPLAIN
possible hazards of the situation and provide
some
practical solutions to
reduce
the effects on the youth.

Perhaps the major challenge of
childreN
watching the cruel content might lead to aggressive behavior in schools. The young psyche is not stable,
so
atrocity
inside of
the video games and songs may contribute to the bullying and abuse in the school environment and everyday news is an evidence to this. A
further
serious problem appears to be in implementing the brutal force as an acceptable way to achieve the purposes,
especially
if it appeals to the other
people
.
For instance
, the main character in action movies could play a role model for the youngsters due to THEIR fame and attraction,
however
, it does not deny the fact of
THEJR
violent actions against enemies.
Thus
, these manners dilute kids’ critical thinking and
make
their upbringing DETERIORATED.

Turning to the counteracting measures of these potential
dangers
,
first of all
, an appropriate method seems to be censorship from the governmental side. It is a
widely
-spread practice in the range of Central Asia countries and it gives reasonable outcomes. If more states took this step, it would
greatly
reduce
the creation of this kind of performance.
Secondly
, psychologists have observed the point that the number of family interactions has a direct impact on the
kids&
#039; self-confidence and sustainability.
So
, parents should consider spending
enough
time with their descents, explaining a difference between right and
wrong
actions.

It is logical
to conclude
that the assault in music text, video and games has
some
harmful consequences on the child’s perception. The coordinated initiatives both from the authorities and individuals are
surely
needed to cope with the case.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of violence in music lyrics and, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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