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Most people prefer ready to eat food rather than homemade food now. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v.4

Most people prefer ready to eat food rather than homemade food now. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 4
In this up-to-date hectic lifestyle people are fascinated for feeding stomach by readymade food. Keeping the harmful effect of it in mind, mainly I am disagreed with the trend. But I also know that it quick inexpensive and effortless food in our busy lifestyle. So, I will explain my views on base of it. To begin with, there are numerous reasons why readymade foods are not suitable for human body. Firstly, readymade foods contain high level of preservative which leading various kinds of disease like cancer, heart problem, kidney trouble. For example, UAE well-known newspaper ' Gulf News' published the level of preservative in pocket food for increasing awareness of nation in 2012. Moreover, if it is junk food than it will be more dangerous for us. Cause one side it is lack of nutrition. Other side containing high calories and sugar. Meanwhile, it leading diabetes, obesity. To highlight, nowadays one third of people all over the world suffering obesity because of pocket food. They have to spend lot of money for treatment even it can be reason of death. Therefore, readymade foods are inappropriate for our health and waste of money too. Nevertheless, in regular consumption readymade food help us to save our time in our busy life. Specially, if both parents are working in that case it plays a beneficial roll. Moreover, it is effortless that homemade food. In addition, it is inexpensive tasty food and we can get is easily. In conclusion, health is wealth. So, we should not compromise with it. As we cannot stop buying or selling of readymade food, but we should be aware about the negative effect of it.
In this up-to-date hectic lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are fascinated
for feeding stomach by
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Keeping the harmful effect of it in mind,
mainly
I
am disagreed
with the trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
also
know that
Did you mean "is" or "it is"?
it
quick inexpensive and effortless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in our busy lifestyle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my views on base of it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous reasons why
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are not suitable for human body.
Firstly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
contain high level of preservative which leading various kinds of disease like cancer, heart problem, kidney trouble.
For example
, UAE well-known newspaper ' Gulf
Possible spelling mistake found.
News&
#039; published the level of preservative in pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for increasing awareness of nation in 2012.
Moreover
, if it is junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
than it will be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for us. Cause one side it is lack of nutrition. Other side containing high calories and sugar. Meanwhile,
Did you mean "it's leading", "it is leading", or "it was leading"?
it leading
diabetes, obesity. To highlight, nowadays one third of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world suffering obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
money for treatment even it can be reason of death.
Therefore
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are inappropriate for our health and waste of money too.

Nevertheless
, in regular consumption
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to save our time in our busy life.
Specially
, if both parents are working
in that case
it plays a beneficial roll.
Moreover
, it is effortless that homemade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
In addition
, it is inexpensive tasty
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
food and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
is
easily
.

In conclusion
, health is wealth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should not compromise with it. As we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
buying or selling of
Possible spelling mistake found.
readymade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should be aware about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect of it.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay Most people prefer ready to eat food rather than homemade food now. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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