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Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed. However, some people think that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed. However, some people think that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals. v. 2
It is a highly controversial issue that in terms of protecting rare animals, whether zoos should be maintained or closed. This essay is going to discuss both sides in further detail and I will give my personal view in the conclusion. On the one hand, there are those who claim that keeping animals in zoos is an ethically and morally wrong activities to conserve animals’ lives. Firstly, wildlife animals need to live in forests, jungles, and so forth in order to develop normally. Indeed, instead of maintaining their lives in narrow cages can lead to a decrease in reproduction rate, the main reason for their extinction, animals should be free to enjoy wildlife habitats. Secondly, animals live in zoos, which means they depend on food and shelters of human, so they lack survival skills. To illustrate, owing to the support and taking care of humans, tigers in zoos just lay all days and wait for people to feed them, which can lead to disappearing of running and preying skills. On the other hand, other people maintain that using zoos are an effective measure to preserve endangered species from vanishing. The primary reason is that conserving rare animals in zoos can help individuals gain full-scale awareness of protecting wildlife animals. In fact, some schools have a tendency to organize extra-curricular activities for students in zoos, therefore, children can be taught about endangered animals and how to protect them with clear examples. An additional reason is that zoos are ideal places for animals to avoid extinction from overhunting and overfishing. One of reasons for the disappearing of some kinds of fauna stems from illegal hunting actions. That the reason why cramped as zoos are, zoos can protect and nurture rare species. In conclusion, while living in natural habitats can enhance the development of wildlife animals, I hold a firm conviction that some kinds of species nowadays face with the extinction phenomenon, hence, zoos should play an integral role to conserve their lives.
It is a
highly
controversial issue that in terms of protecting rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, whether zoos should
be maintained
or closed. This essay is going to discuss both sides in
further
detail and I will give my personal view in the conclusion.

On the one hand, there are those who claim that keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos is an
ethically
and
morally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activities to conserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in forests, jungles, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth in order to develop
normally
.
Indeed
,
instead
of maintaining their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in narrow cages can lead to a decrease in reproduction rate, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for their extinction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be free to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
habitats.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in zoos, which means they depend on food and shelters of human,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they lack survival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. To illustrate, owing to the support and taking care of humans, tigers in zoos
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
lay all days and wait for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to feed them, which can lead to disappearing of running and preying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the other hand
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
maintain that using zoos are an effective measure to preserve endangered species from vanishing. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that conserving rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in zoos can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
individuals gain full-scale awareness of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
schools have a tendency to organize extra-curricular activities for students in zoos,
therefore
, children can
be taught
about endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and how to protect them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
examples. An additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that zoos are ideal places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to avoid extinction from overhunting and overfishing. One of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for the disappearing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of fauna stems from illegal hunting actions. That the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why cramped as zoos are, zoos can protect and nurture rare species.

In conclusion
, while living in natural habitats can enhance the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, I hold a firm conviction that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of species nowadays face with the extinction phenomenon,
hence
, zoos should play an integral role to conserve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed. However, some people think that zoos are useful for protecting rare animals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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