Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The use of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.1

The use of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1
In a modern world, social media has deeply infiltrated into everyone’s life and is believed to be replacing our face-to-face interaction. While I argue that this development has both benefits and drawbacks, I would believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages. On the one hand, using the social network has negative impacts on people around the world. Firstly, a new set of communication barriers has been unexpectedly created by the employment of social media. In present, a number of people in present age often interact via messages with icon showing their emotions rather than actual tone of voice. Misunderstanding which results of this trend is more likely to occur. Secondly, one of the most disadvantages of this problem makes people become dependent on the excessive virtual social network. This leads to they tend to ignore real life. In addition, people can fall prey to online communication abuse, such as online bullying and harassment without hateful restriction or abusive contents. On the other hand, contacting via social networking sites show certain benefits. They are powerful tools to accelerate the flow of information. For example, now, Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is very complicated so its breaking news is up to the minute and quickly, especially it is free. And, you see, keeping abreast of what is happening around us has never been simpler. Furthermore, as you know, media technologies can help us to lift up any geographical barriers and people are enabled to interact with more other people than ever before. By using social networking such as Facebook, Messenger or Twitter, we can easily exchange information, make phone calls or keep in touch with others. For example, I have a friend who has been studying abroad, I still chat or send the message for her. It is really useful. To sum up, although it has some disadvantages, the upside of social networking is more important because it brings us many benefits on our life.
In a modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media has
deeply
infiltrated into everyone’s life and
is believed
to be replacing our face-to-face interaction. While I argue that this development has both benefits and drawbacks, I would believe that there are more advantages than disadvantages.

On the one hand, using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
Firstly
, a new set of communication barriers has been
unexpectedly
created by the employment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media. In present, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in present age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
interact via messages with icon showing their emotions
rather
than actual tone of voice. Misunderstanding which results of this trend is more likely to occur.
Secondly
, one of the most disadvantages of this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become dependent on the excessive virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network. This leads to they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
real life.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can fall prey to online communication abuse, such as online bullying and harassment without hateful restriction or abusive contents.

On the other hand
, contacting via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
certain benefits. They are powerful tools to accelerate the flow of information.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, Coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
its breaking news is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
up to the minute
and
quickly
,
especially
it is free. And, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, keeping abreast of what is happening around us has never been simpler.
Furthermore
, as you know, media technologies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
any geographical barriers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enabled
to interact with more other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. By using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking such as Facebook, Messenger or Twitter, we can
easily
exchange information,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
phone calls or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with others.
For example
, I have a friend who has been studying abroad, I
still
chat or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
the message for her. It is
really
useful.

To sum up, although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages, the upside of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits on our life.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts