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The use of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v.4

The use of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4
As we progressed, it is very common now people are less physical meeting. Apps that we have installed like Facebook, Instagram and other social platforms have changed the way how we communicated. Although they will often get misinterpreted, society will benefit from social media that can suggest to connect to their old friends. In my opinion, to use social media are better off having to lose contact in touch despite the challenges that they will inevitably face. To begin with, conversely, when social media had not yet been popularized, we rely on physical contact. So when most of the old schooling friends have moved to the city, we will lose their connection. But that worry has overcame by social media where we can keep in touch with most of them all the time. In addition to that, for example, Facebook has a function where there is a list of friends suggestion which you might be pumped into someone from your kindergarten, and this bring us convenient to connect with others without physical present. In contrast, communicating through keyboard certainly brings more misunderstanding than face-to-face meeting. In fact, a message sent through the screen can not add in emotion, and most of the time it is not genuine. While the reader is reading your message, she might interpret wrongly your meaning and intention. For instance, you had asked a girl for a fancy dinner that she would think you are asking for a date instead. Moreover, a somebody "comment" on your photos in Facebook might not be genuine and that making matters worse if someone commented badly in your column whereby that will make you moody the whole day. In conclusion, social platform is gaining more popularity and unavoidably in-person association is affected. Although it has helped us to avoid losing touch with our friends, but in my opinion social media has brought us more benefits that the disadvantages. However, we must self-regulated by putting in the right words and intention before type in the "enter" key.
As we progressed, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are less physical meeting. Apps that we have installed like Facebook, Instagram and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platforms have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way how we communicated. Although they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
misinterpreted, society will benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that can
The verb 'suggest' is used with the gerund form: "suggest connecting".
suggest to connect
to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. In my opinion, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are better off having to lose contact in touch despite the challenges that they will
inevitably
face.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
conversely
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
had not
yet
been popularized
, we rely on physical contact.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when most of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
schooling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the city, we will lose their connection.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that worry has
Use past participle here: "overcome".
overcame
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
where we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with most of them all the time.
In addition
to that,
for example
, Facebook has a function where there is a list of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
suggestion which you might
be pumped
into someone from your kindergarten, and
The verb 'bring' is plural. Did you mean: "this brings"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this bring
us convenient to connect with others without physical present.

In contrast
, communicating through keyboard
certainly
brings more misunderstanding than face-to-face meeting.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
fact, a message
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
through the screen can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
in emotion, and most of the time it is not genuine. While the reader is reading your message, she might interpret
wrongly
Did you mean "you're" or "you are"?
your
meaning and intention.
For instance
, you had asked a girl for a fancy dinner that she would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you are asking for a date
instead
.
Moreover
, a somebody
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
comment
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
on your photos
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
might not be genuine and that making matters worse if someone commented
badly
in your column whereby that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you moody the whole day.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform is gaining more popularity and
unavoidably
in-person association is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Although it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to avoid losing touch with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has brought us more benefits that the disadvantages.
However
, we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
must self-regulated
by putting in the right words and intention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
type in the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
enter
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
key.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The use of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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