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Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? v.2

Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? v. 2
In recent years, delaying of childbirth is a growing trend which couples are making the decision to have children later in their married life compared to the traditional concept. It poses threats to several countries. This essay will discuss driving forces behind this phenomenon and its possible effects on families and society. One of the principal reasons for this trend is the competitive labour market. It is a norm that young parents delay having children to concentrate the whole time in the first years on their employment to lay a firm foundation about finance. So, they can ensure that their children will have a good life in the future. Besides, this trend allows some them to have more time to enjoy life together when they are young. For instance, when they do not have a baby to nurture, it is easier for a young couple to travel around the world and do everything which they like. And, they also take a chance to work in another country at the same time. As the result of this, it is not too difficult to guess. Firstly, regarding to families, having children when reaching over 35 can affect pregnancy due to aging health. Consequently, babies are not healthy enough or even die premature death. Additionally, having children later will cause a significant age gap between two generations. This makes it harder for parents to understand and communicate with their offspring. On the other hand, if they choose the delaying of childbirth, a country will have enough qualified manpower to work. However, in the long-term falling fertility rates will mean an aging population with a lack of young people to work. To sum up, there are some reasons why many people prefer to have children later in their life and this tendency can have a number of impacts, both positive and negative for family life and society.
In recent years, delaying of childbirth is a growing trend which couples are making the decision to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
later in their married
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
compared to the traditional concept. It poses threats to several countries. This essay will discuss driving forces behind this phenomenon and its possible effects on families and society.

One of the principal reasons for this trend is the competitive
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market. It is a norm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
parents delay having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to concentrate the whole time in the
first
years on their employment to lay a firm foundation about finance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they can ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the future.
Besides
, this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
them to have more time to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
together when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
For instance
, when they do not have a baby to nurture, it is easier for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
couple to travel around the world and do everything which they like. And, they
also
take a chance to work in another country at the same time.

As the result of this, it is not too difficult to guess.
Firstly
,
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
families, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when reaching over 35 can affect pregnancy due to aging health.
Consequently
, babies are not healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
premature death.
Additionally
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
later will cause a significant age gap between two generations. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it harder for parents to understand and communicate with their offspring.
On the other hand
, if they choose the delaying of childbirth, a country will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
qualified manpower to work.
However
, in the long-term falling fertility rates will mean an aging population with a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to work.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
later in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this tendency can have a number of impacts, both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
for family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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