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The UN recentky celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years? v.1

The UN recentky celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years? v. 1
In the modern world, there are many international organizations such as UN, WTO and EU. However, among these structures the UN is the most essential one, as it can regulate political situations, worldwide healthcare and relationship among the countries. In this regard, I believe that the United Nations will be crucial to solve the problems of world population in the future. On the one hand, it is true that the United Nations is the only organization, where the countries and regions can collaborate with each other to solve their problems. Furthermore, they can control the illegal actions of drug companies and terrorism. To illustrate, it is declared that the UN stoped many terroristic structures in 2018. In addition, they can solve the global problems such as climate change, pollution and global warming. On the other hand, it is clear that many people are reckoned to think that such organization cannot exist more than a decade in the future, as many countries and regions are willing to create their own institution. Moreover, they tend to think that their formation will be justice to them. For example, SCO is willing control the Asian region in order to develop their continent. In conclusion, although many people are reckoned to think that the United Nations are not well-structured formation to control the whole nations, personally, I believe that this system will live for another 70 years. In addition, it has a potential to develop, which is very essential for the further life of the formation.
In the modern world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international organizations such as UN, WTO and EU.
However
, among these structures the UN is the most essential one, as it can regulate political situations, worldwide healthcare and relationship among the countries. In this regard, I believe that the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
will be crucial to solve the problems of world population in the future.

On the one hand, it is true that the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
organization, where the countries and regions can collaborate with each other to solve their problems.
Furthermore
, they can control the illegal actions of drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and terrorism. To illustrate, it
is declared
that the UN
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "stopped", the past tense form of the verb 'stop'?
stoped
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
terroristic structures in 2018.
In addition
, they can solve the global problems such as climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, pollution and global warming.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such organization cannot exist more than a decade in the future, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and regions are willing to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
institution.
Moreover
, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their formation will be justice to them.
For example
, SCO is willing control the Asian region in order to develop their continent.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are reckoned
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
are not well-structured formation to control the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
personally
, I believe that this system will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for another 70 years.
In addition
, it has a potential to develop, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for the
further
life of the formation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The UN recentky celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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