Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years? v.1

The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years? v. 1
The United Nations has been established since the end of the Second World War to provide a peaceful way to resolve national conflicts. This essay will first suggest that peacekeeping and emergency food and health aid are the primary roles, and it then predicts that the light might still shed on this organization in the future. When it comes to the achievements of the United Nations, it is difficult to imagine a world without the United Nations because it plays a leading role in everything from conflict resolution to emergency food aid and global public health. Many people trust the United Nations because it is a democratic organization that reflects the interests of all its member states and not just one particular country. In this way, the United Nations has restricted the influence of powerful countries like the USA, Russia, and China; while, it gives smaller nations a say in global affairs. It has also been done under the United Nations when seeking financial contributions from wealthier member states and redistributing it as economic aid or rapid assistance to parts of the world that need it most. As for the future of the United Nations, the world is an extremely different place from how it looked in 1945, which has led some people to request the need for a powerful organization like the United Nations. In particular, there are some proponents of free trade who argue that competition and not cooperation between nations is the fastest way to pursue economic development. Despite this argument, I believe that the more nations become interdependent, the more they will require a global forum to resolve their differences. Although other global associations can play an equal role, such as the World Bank and the International Criminal Court, none has the power as the United Nations. For these reasons, the United Nations has been sure to exist for decades to come and possibly for another 70 years. In conclusion, the UN remains the most viable organization for dealing with the world’s problems, and this is unlikely to change very soon.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
has
been established
since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
War to provide a peaceful way to resolve national conflicts. This essay will
first
suggest that peacekeeping and emergency food and health aid are the primary roles, and it then predicts that the light might
still
shed on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
in the future.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the achievements of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
, it is difficult to imagine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it plays a leading role in everything from conflict resolution to emergency food aid and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
public health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
trust the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is a democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
that reflects the interests of all its member states and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one particular country. In this way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
has restricted the influence of powerful countries like the USA, Russia, and China; while, it gives smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
a say in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
affairs. It has
also
been done
under the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
when seeking financial contributions from wealthier member states and redistributing it as economic aid or rapid assistance to parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that need it most.

As for the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is an
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
place from how it looked in 1945, which has led
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to request the need for a powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
.
In particular
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
proponents of free trade who argue that competition and not cooperation between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is the fastest way to pursue economic development. Despite this argument, I believe that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
become interdependent, the more they will require a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
forum to resolve their differences. Although other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
associations can play an equal role, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
Bank and the International Criminal Court, none has the power as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
. For these reasons, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
has been sure to exist for decades to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
possibly
for another 70 years.

In conclusion
, the UN remains the most viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
for dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
problems, and this is unlikely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay The United Nations recently celebrated its 70th anniversary. What benefits has it brought during this time? Do you think the UN will last another 70 years? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts