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The ultimated use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problem, should we discourage people to use cars? v.2

The ultimated use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problem, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2
These days, possessing personal cars is becoming increasingly popular. As a result, many families buy more than one car. Some say it can offer flexibility to their life, while others argue that huge problems have been identified such as environmental impacts, crucial traffic jam or even car waste. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons for this and propose some solutions. Firstly, The widespread use of cars has been deleterious impact on air environment. It is education that road traffic, fulling of exhaust from vehicles, is one amongst the biggest sources of air pollution. In addition, The cars’ gas emission can cause acid rain and greenhouse effect. To tackle this problem, authorities should focus on banning cars which release toxic gases and imposing campaign for alternative energy sources in cars, as biogas or electricity. Furthermore, The traffic jam is normally to be controversial nowadays. Failing to improve the quality of public transports due to the reason why demanding personal car still high. It is getting public attention, there is boring event, happening on rush hours everyday, for commuters in intense city. To deal with this issue, public transports should be made available to everyone with good quality and also reasonable price. In addition, the other effects from using excessively personal cars is car waste. Every year end of life vehicles generate around the world have dramatically increased. Some say it is important to cope these problems with managing and recycling correctly by setting clear targets for reuse, recycling and recovery of vehicles and their components. I think, producers should attend to manufacture new vehicles with a view to their recyclability. In conclusion, there is an urgent need for the governments to focus on addressing a rise in consuming cars, which attribute to the rise of air pollution and intense traffic. At the same time, it demands to strengthen the policy about recycling vehicles. Personally, the government should gradually promote alternative vehicles or public transports instead of discouraging the car use suddenly, causes they may face great opposition from manufacturers.
These days, possessing personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is becoming
increasingly
popular.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
more than one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say it can offer flexibility to their life, while others argue that huge problems have
been identified
such as environmental impacts, crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
waste. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons for this and propose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

Firstly
, The widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has been deleterious impact on air environment. It is education that road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, fulling of exhaust from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
, is one amongst the biggest sources of air pollution.
In addition
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars’
gas emission can cause acid rain and greenhouse effect. To tackle this problem, authorities should focus on banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which release toxic gases and imposing campaign for alternative energy sources in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, as biogas or electricity.

Furthermore
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is
normally
to be controversial nowadays. Failing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports due to the reason why demanding personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
still
high. It is getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
attention, there is boring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, happening on rush hours
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
, for commuters in intense city. To deal with this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports should
be made
available to everyone with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and
also
reasonable price.

In addition
, the other effects from using
excessively
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
waste. Every year
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
generate around the world have
dramatically
increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to cope these problems with managing and recycling
correctly
by setting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
targets for reuse, recycling and recovery of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
and their components. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, producers should attend to manufacture new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
with a view to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
recyclability
.

In conclusion
, there is an urgent need for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to focus on addressing a rise in consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, which attribute to the rise of air pollution and intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. At the same time, it demands to strengthen the policy about recycling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
.
Personally
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
gradually
promote alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transports
instead
of discouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
suddenly
, causes they may face great opposition from manufacturers.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay The ultimated use of cars may cause many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce the problem, should we discourage people to use cars? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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