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The two pie charts illustrates the proportion of male and females in employment that are divided into six different field of occupations and are equally divided to manual and non-manual category in Great Britain in the year 1992. v.1

The two pie charts illustrates the proportion of male and females in employment that are divided into six different field of occupations and are equally divided to manual and non-manual category in Great Britain in the year 1992. v. 1
Some schools of thoughts affirm that humans secure admissions in colleges or universities in order to learn new skills, someone does this as a career preparation and others do this to enhance their education levels. Furthermore, I personally believe that, most of the mankind does this for a better social life, to increase the probability of a job and also to learn new things. To begin with, a multitude of students enters into these institutes to earn a respectful status in the society. To put it another way, many of them prefer to enlarge their circle, they feel good to meet with unknown personalities. While, there is also a group of adolescent, who only come there due to the pressure of their guardians. They should intend to earn an honour for them or to fulfil their dreams. As a result, more and more people admit there, as compared to the past few decades. Similarly, some human beings want to prepare them for a bright Career through these education departments. Moreover, in this epoch, to obtain a job is not an easy task specifically, in this contemporary world. So, most of them not only receive a degree or diploma there, but also do a practical work and grasp the situation, which they will face during their jobs. Teachers teach them a latest technology and skills which play a pivotal role in the building of their personalities. To conclude, people go to colleges or universities for several purposes. Likewise; to explore modern theories and to expand their domains of the knowledge. Also, they make new friends there, which solid to enlarge their social life and someone learns their different cultures as well.
Some
schools of thoughts affirm that humans secure admissions in colleges or universities in order to learn new
skills
, someone does this as a career preparation
and others
do this to enhance their education levels.
Furthermore
, I
personally
believe that, most of the mankind does this for a better social life, to increase the probability of a job and
also
to learn new things.

To
begin
with, a multitude of students enters into these institutes to earn a respectful status in the society. To put it another way,
many
of them prefer to enlarge their circle, they feel
good
to
meet
with unknown personalities. While, there is
also
a group of adolescent, who
only
come
there due to the pressure of their guardians. They should intend to earn an
honour
for them or to fulfil their dreams.
As a result
, more and more
people
admit there, as compared to the past few decades.

Similarly
,
some
human beings want to prepare them for a bright Career through these education departments.
Moreover
, in this epoch, to obtain a job is not an easy task
specifically
, in this contemporary world.
So
, most of them not
only
receive a degree or diploma there,
but
also
do a practical work and grasp the situation, which they will face during their jobs. Teachers teach them
a
latest technology and
skills
which play a pivotal role in the building of their personalities.

To conclude
,
people
go to colleges or universities for several purposes.
Likewise
; to explore modern theories and to expand their domains of the knowledge.
Also
, they
make
new friends there, which solid to enlarge their social life and someone learns their
different
cultures
as well
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay The two pie charts illustrates the proportion of male and females in employment that are divided into six different field of occupations and are equally divided to manual and non-manual category in Great Britain in the year 1992. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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