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The TV and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous. Is this a positive or a negative development? v.1

The TV and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1
Advances in the telecommunication industry have transformed the ways in which people communicate with each other. Nowadays, satellite television and the internet render ample opportunities to individual to become well known. This essay agrees that this trend is a positive advancement as it acts as a neutral platform for people to demonstrate their talent and also the performers can reach to millions of people at the touch of a button. To embark with, broadcasting shows over the internet or satellite television networks provide an unbiased platform for performers to showcase their talent. For instance, anyone can participate in a talent hunt competition such as the American Idol or can start their own channel on the social networking sites without needing help from the influential individuals of the community and can receive global recognition solely with their talent. Thus, satellite communication systems have increased the chances of common individuals to get worldwide fame. In addition to this, the internet and other digital broadcasting services such as You Tube remove the geographical barrier which boosts the popularity of talented individuals. For example, thirty years ago, a performer has to travel to distant places to be able to gain fame; however, today a stand-up comedian from India can reach up to its audience sitting in the American continent at the touch of a button. Hence, technology has brought the entertainers and the audience together from different parts of the world. In conclusion, communication breakthroughs have made it easier for the entertainers to connect with their audience from numerous geographical regions, and since the television and the internet provide fair chances to everyone to become celebrities, this is a positive development for sure.
Advances in the telecommunication industry have transformed the ways in which
people
communicate with each other. Nowadays, satellite television and the internet render ample opportunities to
individual
to become well known. This essay
agrees
that this trend is a
positive
advancement as it acts as a neutral platform for
people
to demonstrate their
talent
and
also
the performers can reach to millions of
people
at the touch of a button.

To embark with, broadcasting
shows
over the internet or satellite television networks provide an unbiased platform for performers to showcase their
talent
.
For instance
, anyone can participate in a
talent
hunt competition such as the American Idol or can
start
their
own
channel on the social networking sites without needing
help
from the influential
individuals
of the community and can receive global recognition
solely
with their
talent
.
Thus
, satellite communication systems have increased the chances of common
individuals
to
get
worldwide fame.

In addition
to this, the internet and other digital broadcasting services such as
You Tube
remove the geographical barrier which boosts the popularity of talented
individuals
.
For example
, thirty years ago, a performer
has to
travel to distant places to be able to gain fame;
however
,
today
a stand-up comedian from India can reach up to its audience sitting in the American continent at the touch of a button.
Hence
, technology has brought the entertainers and the audience together from
different
parts of the world.

In conclusion
, communication breakthroughs have made it easier for the entertainers to connect with their audience from numerous geographical regions, and since the television and the internet provide
fair
chances to everyone to become celebrities, this is a
positive
development for sure.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The TV and the internet provide opportunity to ordinary people to become famous. Is this a positive or a negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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