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These days, many films and pieces of music are free online. Is this a positive or negative development? Write your reasons and use examples from your experience. v.1

These days, many films and pieces of music are free online. Is this a positive or negative development? Write your reasons and use examples from your experience. v. 1
Recently, it has been notable that free downloadable movies and songs are widely common; this trend has resulted in many consequences. I entirely concur that this free media has negatively affected individuals, and it has undesirable economic outcomes. To begin with, free online videos could possibly affect individuals’ achievements adversely; these videos have a determined impact on people’s daily schedule which results in an obvious delay in their targets. This procrastination affects their future prospect. This has been illustrated by a recent study founded by the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC), which has shown that around 68% of Saudi males, between 18 and 25, fail to meet the deadline of many international scholarships due to the fact that they waste their time on online entertainment platforms. Hence, these free videos have a negative influence on many youngsters’ future prospects. In addition to this, the downloadable video clips and pieces of music likely affect the media production industry. To clarify, many media production agencies probably experience a major economic problem, because these free online videos prevent many audiences from purchasing their products. Rotana, an Arabian media production agency, for instance, has experienced a significant decrease in its profit, in 2018, due to these free media platforms which provide many audiences with downloadable songs. Consequently, if these free films and songs are freely broadcasted on these online platforms, this will harm the media industry in many countries. To conclude, having demonstrated the above-mentioned undesirable outcomes of free online videos and pieces of music in terms of youth’s achievements and media agencies’ profit, it seems to me that these free movies and songs are a negative development.
Recently, it has been notable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
downloadable movies and songs are
widely
common; this trend has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences. I
entirely
concur that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
individuals, and it has undesirable economic outcomes.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
could
possibly
affect individuals’ achievements
adversely
; these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
have a determined impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s daily schedule which results in an obvious delay in their targets. This procrastination affects their future prospect. This has
been illustrated
by a recent study founded by the Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC), which has shown that around 68% of Saudi males, between 18 and 25, fail to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the deadline of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international scholarships due to the fact that they waste their time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
entertainment platforms.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters’ future prospects.

In addition
to this, the downloadable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
clips and pieces of music likely affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
production industry. To clarify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
production agencies
probably
experience a major economic problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
audiences from purchasing their products.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rotana
, an Arabian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
production agency,
for instance
, has experienced a significant decrease in its profit, in 2018, due to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platforms which provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
audiences with downloadable songs.
Consequently
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
films and songs are
freely
broadcasted on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
platforms, this will harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
industry in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.

To conclude
, having demonstrated the above-mentioned undesirable outcomes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
and pieces of music in terms of youth’s achievements and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
agencies’ profit, it seems to me that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
movies and songs are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay These days, many films and pieces of music are free online. Is this a positive or negative development? Write your reasons and use examples from your experience. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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