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In number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that this money should be spent on improving public transport. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

In number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that this money should be spent on improving public transport. v. 2
A Good Transportation system is essential for the masses. It is argued by some, that more money should be used in building new railway lines for fast moving trains to enable transit between cities. However, others believe that this money should be allocated in developing public transport. Both sides of the argument will be discussed, before a reasoned conclusion is drawn. On the one side, a major reason why more funds should be spent on constructing new rails for fast trains is because, it will help decongest traffic burden on major roads. Most cities are often over populated, as a result of the job opportunities available there; with many people moving up and about for their daily activities, they will have to either use their private cars or public buses; hence, the traffic burden increasingly becomes overwhelming. Therefore, with the availability of new fast trains, individual can conveniently and easily get to their facilities in time. On the other side, people who believe that instead of building new railways, the money should be diverted in improving public transport; they argue so because, not everyone is comfortable using the fast moving trains. It has been recorded in Germany, that 50 percent of people who use fast moving train, come down with motion sickness. Additionally, public means is important for people in rural areas to convey goods to places where trains cannot penetrate. What's more is that, the maintenance of trains is more expensive compared to the regular transport system, as seen in Germany; the country spends about 40million dollars to keep the train system active, whereas, a quarter of that amount is used to manage the others. For these reasons, Transportation for the masses should be a main focus of development. In Summary, although people believe that more finance should be spent on the building fast trains to ease traffic, I believe that public movement Should not be ignored but equally developed to help reach locations where trains cannot reach.
A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
Transportation system is essential for the masses. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, that more money should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway lines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
to enable transit between cities.
However
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that this money should
be allocated
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport. Both sides of the argument will
be discussed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
a reasoned conclusion
is drawn
.

On the one side, a major reason why more funds should
be spent
on constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rails for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
decongest traffic burden on major roads. Most cities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
over populated,
as a result
of the job opportunities available there; with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
up and about for their daily activities, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
either
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their private cars or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
buses;
hence
, the traffic burden
increasingly
becomes overwhelming.
Therefore
, with the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, individual can
conveniently
and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their facilities in time.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
instead
of building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railways, the money should
be diverted
in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport; they argue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, not everyone is comfortable using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. It has
been recorded
in Germany, that 50 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
down with motion sickness.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in rural areas to convey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to places where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cannot penetrate. What's more is that, the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
is more expensive compared to the regular transport system, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Germany; the country spends about 40million dollars to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
system active, whereas, a quarter of that amount is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to manage the others.

For these reasons, Transportation for the masses should be a main focus of development.

In Summary, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that more finance should
be spent
on the building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
traffic, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
movement Should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
equally
developed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
reach locations where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
cannot reach.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that this money should be spent on improving public transport. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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