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The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v.2

The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 2
It is certainly true that mealtime with family is disappearing. This essay will put forward some explanations for this trend and an analysis of the impacts. Firstly, because of the busy working schedule, people cannot find time to enjoy a meal with their families. Cooking takes a long time; therefore, instead of eating at home with their family, they eat at the restaurant to save time. For example, I often get up late, so I cannot eat with my family, I choose to eat fast food to save time. Secondly, nowadays, for those who do not know how to cook, eating at a restaurant is more convenient and delicious. Food culture is becoming more diverse, and it attracts people. Thus, there is a tendency for people to like eating at restaurants instead of eating together at home. However, this problem has both positive and negative impacts on people. On the one hand, It is important for a family to bond with family members. If people do not eat together, they could not talk and share about difficulties at work and in life. Therefore, close-knit family is disappearing. Besides, quality time with families help children to shape their personalities during the formative years. For example, in my family, the meals we share together are so few, I even cannot show my parents about my academic achievements. On the other hand, eating at the restaurant can save time. Instead of spending a lot of time to cook, they can take a break or use time for other things. In conclusion, in order to have a close-knit family, people should often eat together, talk and share about life. It not only helps people bond with family members, but also helps them de-stress after a long day.
It is
certainly
true that mealtime with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is disappearing. This essay will put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
explanations for this trend and an analysis of the impacts.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the busy working schedule,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enjoy a meal with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. Cooking takes a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
;
therefore
,
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at home with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up late,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
with my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, I choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Secondly
, nowadays, for those who do not know how to cook,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
is more convenient and delicious. Food culture is becoming more diverse, and it attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, there is a tendency for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
together at home.

However
, this problem has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. On the one hand, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to bond with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
together, they could not talk and share about difficulties at work and in life.
Therefore
, close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is disappearing.
Besides
, quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
children to shape their personalities during the formative years.
For example
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, the meals we share together are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
few, I even cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
my parents about my academic achievements.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurant
can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Instead
of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook, they can take a break or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for other things.

In conclusion
, in order to have a close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
together, talk and share about life. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bond with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them de-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after a long day.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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