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The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience. v.3

The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. v. 3
There is no doubt these days the accidents are playing a major role in our lives. However, the question: Is the age limited groups consider the best solution to decrease the number of the traffic accidents? Is considered one of the most controversial questions today. In this essay I am going to examine the advantages and disadvantages of this solution. On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the disadvantages considerably outweigh the benefits. The main reason in believing that the oldest parents who separated from their children for any reason, they do not have anybody to help them in buying their stuff and they can not afford the transportation price. My mother, for example, she is 55 years old and she is staying alone, if the government applied the limited age group, she cannot drive any more and she needs to pay to Uber which is difficult since her economic status not supporting. Moreover, It is possible to say that the need of the young adults is significantly increasing day after day. A good illustration of that nowadays the school is ordering a lot of stuff for the students and if the can just drive in their neighbourhood to buy them, that will help their parents a lot. On the other hand, It is also possible to consider it with opposing case. The people argued that most of the young adults are excited and they do not think in their safety, which will lead to increase the number of the accidents. In other word, if the teenager drive without of their family, they might drive in high. In addition, once we get older, our vision acuity will drop years by years which lead to car accidents. In both young adults ages between 17 to 20 and those older people over 60 are not qualified enough to drive the car. We have seen there are no easy answers for this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe the age limitation rule will play a significant role in reducing the number of car accidents and make the world safer in the future.
There is no doubt these days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are playing a major role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, the question: Is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limited groups consider the best solution to decrease the number of the traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
?
Is considered
one of the most controversial questions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. In this essay I am going to examine the advantages and disadvantages of this solution.

On one side of the argument there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who argue that the disadvantages
considerably
outweigh the benefits. The main reason in believing that the oldest parents who separated from their children for any reason, they do not have anybody to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in buying their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stuff and
they can not afford the transportation price. My mother,
for example
, she is 55 years
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
old and
she is staying alone, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
applied the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group, she cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
any
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
more and
she needs to pay to Uber which is difficult since her economic status not supporting.
Moreover
, It is possible to say that the need of the young adults is
significantly
increasing day after day. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of that nowadays the school is ordering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
stuff for the students and if the can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them, that will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their parents a lot.

On the other hand
, It is
also
possible to consider it with opposing case. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that most of the young adults are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
excited and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in their safety, which will lead to increase the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. In other word, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
without of their family, they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
in high.
In addition
, once we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, our vision acuity will drop years by years which lead to car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
both young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 17 and 20".
between 17 to 20
and those older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 60 are not qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drive
the car.

We have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there are no easy answers for this question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
limitation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
will play a significant role in reducing the number of car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world safer in the future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
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Rumi

IELTS essay The best way to reduce traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for elderly ones. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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