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The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v.1

The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 1
Nowadays, it is true that the traditional custom for having a family meal is decreasing. There are several reasons for this tendency, which is having significant impact on the daily family lives. Many parents opt for prioritizing time to develop career path over to appreciate family mealtimes. Since they think that it could help to bring better living standard for their home. Meanwhile, the young generation would like to prefer taking time to hang out with friends or have a plenty of compelling after-school activities. It is quite a tough task to gather everyone and arrange for a meal at home. In addition, the growth of food delivery services easily facilitate family’s members eating demands so that people could decide to have meals at any times when they wish to fit with own schedule rather than having a fixed meal timetable. However, this trend possibly have has negative consequences in terms of both family life and health. Firstly, the connection between members is especially loosen as family mealtimes are such a good opportunities interpersonal bonding, which provide the chance not only to not only share the day’s events but also get to know each other a little better. Parents could rarely understand their children’s current situation and take timely measures to face with kids problem without having meals together. Children’s health would be put in jeopardy if they do not sit down and enjoy a traditional family meal settings. This is Because snack and junk foods normally are the best option when children are allowed to choose which ones to eat. In fact, Those foods normally contain a significant lower level of nutrition in comparison with the household prepared lunch or dinner. Therefore, health and digestion system of children become gradually degraded. In conclusions, it is undeniable that there are a number of reasons why people generally do not spend much time for family meal as in the past. As a result, the negative effects could be taken on aspects of family life and health.
Nowadays, it is true that the traditional custom for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
is decreasing. There are several reasons for this tendency, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
significant impact on the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
parents opt for prioritizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to develop career path over to appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
mealtimes. Since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to bring better living standard for their home. Meanwhile, the young generation would like to prefer taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to hang out with friends or have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of compelling after-school activities. It is quite a tough task to gather everyone and arrange for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
at home.
In addition
, the growth of food delivery services
easily
facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
members eating demands
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could decide to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
at any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when they wish to fit with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedule
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
timetable.

However
, this trend
possibly
have has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences in terms of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
members is
especially
Consider using a past participle here: "loosened".
loosen
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
mealtimes are such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "opportunity"?
opportunities
interpersonal bonding, which provide the chance not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
share the day’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know each other a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
better. Parents could rarely understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation and take timely measures to face with kids problem without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
would
be put
in jeopardy if they do not sit down and enjoy a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
settings. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
snack and junk foods
normally
are the best option when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to choose which ones to eat. In fact, Those foods
normally
contain a significant lower level of nutrition
in comparison
with the household prepared lunch or dinner.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and digestion system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
become
gradually
degraded.

In conclusions, it is undeniable that there are a number of reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
generally
do not spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
as in the past.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects could
be taken
on aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
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IELTS essay The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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