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The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v.1

The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 1
It is argued that these days, family members do not always have meals together as they used to do. There are several reasons for this situation and it can result in a variety of negative effects on family life and wellbeing. The tradition of sharing mealtimes in families is disappearing due to two main causes. Firstly, many children are too impatient to sit at the table to eat meals with their parents. They are also allowed to eat in front of the TV or computer screen. The second reason contributing to this situation is the disappear of close-knit family. In the modern world, many parents have such a hectic schedule that they cannot get home early to have meals with their children, especially in the households with mother-workers, it can be almost impossible to arrange a meal that all family members can sit together. The consequences for the family life and children’s health are serious. In terms of family, meals taken together are the best time for all family members to share news, give guidance or advice. Furthermore, family plays a significant role in shaping children’s personality during the formative years. Therefore, losing this tradition means that the family life and the pattern of children’s behavior could be affected in the negative way. In addition, for those whose parents are too busy to prepare meals may be left to eat junk food at fast food chains. This, consequently, would develop unhealthy eating habits, which are likely to cause problems on children’s health such as obesity. In conclusion, there are numerous reasons leading to the disappear of family meals and the impacts are overwhelmingly negative.
It
is argued
that these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members do not always have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do. There are several reasons for this situation and it can result in a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life and
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
. The tradition of sharing mealtimes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is disappearing due to two main causes.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are too impatient to sit at the table to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with their parents. They are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to eat in front of the TV or computer screen. The second reason contributing to this situation is
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'disappear' is correct. If 'disappear' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the disappear
of close-knit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In the modern world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents have such a hectic schedule that they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
home early to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
especially
in the households with mother-workers, it can be almost impossible to arrange a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can sit together. The consequences for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health are serious. In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
taken together are the best time for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members to share news, give guidance or advice.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays a significant role in shaping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
personality during the formative years.
Therefore
, losing this tradition means that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life and the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.
In addition
, for those whose parents are too busy to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to eat junk food at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food chains. This,
consequently
, would develop unhealthy eating habits, which are likely to cause problems on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health such as obesity.
In conclusion
, there are numerous reasons leading to
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'disappear' is correct. If 'disappear' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the disappear
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
and the impacts are
overwhelmingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
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IELTS essay The tradition that the family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts? v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
274 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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