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The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on families and societies? v.1

The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on families and societies? v. 1
In the fast-paced world today, it seems that the tradition of families having meals together is gradually being forgotten. From my perspective, there could be several reasons, concerning the family member themselves, behind the disappearance of this joyful activity. I also firmly believe that the lack of family-gathering time can have some serious implications on both the adults and their children. To begin, it is undeniable that what causes the separation during mealtimetime in the family may be the dense working schedule of the members. Nowadays, it is obvious that parents are working harder for a longer period of time so as to support their families. Some adults, even have to take more shifts than they were initially allotted as they are facing financial difficulties. Likewise, children now also have a more demanding workload from school, which sometimes require them to spend more time accomplishing. As a result, their time for family meals is significantly reduced. Additionally, it is also possible that there can be some sorts of disputes within the family and they prevent the parents and their kids from sitting down and enjoying a delightful meal together. This can be considered a very common reason for the phenomenon. It is inevitable that the disappearance of family meals can have several detrimental effects to the family. When they cannot spend time eating together, the family bonds are likely to be loosened, which can result in children feeling a lack of affection from their own parents. Furthermore, it is at family meals that parents shape their children's manners as well as teach them how to behave when there are guests. Therefore, kids who do not have meals with their parents frequently are less likely to develop proper manners. All in all, there are many reasons which prevent families from eating together, most of which stemming from the family members themselves. And it is clear that such lack of quality time with family can have negative impacts on the families and the children's development.
In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, it seems that the tradition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together is
gradually
being forgotten
. From my perspective, there could be several reasons, concerning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member themselves, behind the disappearance of this joyful activity. I
also
firmly
believe that the lack of family-gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious implications on both the adults and their children.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, it is undeniable that what causes the separation during
Possible spelling mistake found.
mealtimetime
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
may be the dense working schedule of the members. Nowadays, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working harder for a longer period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adults, even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take more shifts than they were
initially
allotted as they are facing financial difficulties.
Likewise
, children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
also
have a more demanding workload from school, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
require them to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
accomplishing.
As a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Additionally
, it is
also
possible that there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorts of disputes within the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their kids from sitting down and enjoying a delightful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
together. This can
be considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common reason for the phenomenon.

It is inevitable that the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
can have several detrimental effects to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. When they cannot spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
eating together, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonds are likely to
be loosened
, which can result in children feeling a lack of affection from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Furthermore
, it is at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
shape their children's manners
as well
as teach them how to behave when there are guests.
Therefore
, kids who do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
frequently
are less likely to develop proper manners.

All in all, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
from eating together, most of which stemming from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members themselves. And it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that such lack of quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and the children's development.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on families and societies? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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