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The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons and what are the impacts? v.4

The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons and what are the impacts? v. 4
The culture of getting together at home, be it a lunch, dinner or breakfast is vanishing at a fast pace. It is barely evident that people belonging to a family brunch or dine together in this modern world. In my opinion, fast moving and self-centred busy lives of individuals, and minimal or no knowledge and emphasis on the importance of such get together practices are primary reasons for such fall outs which may result in serious issues such as no empathy or communication among the family members, obliteration of customs and associated problems. In olden days where there is no technology, the lives of the public are more focused, organized and limited. However, in this new era where we run and work on machines, life has become mechanical, communication and exposure is global. There is no time for fellow human beings. Working hours are erratic and different from others. All these factors created an environment where we rarely have common free hours to interact and share a meal time. This situation resulted in poor information exchange about each other's lives, ultimately resulting in minimal bonding and empathy among them. The dining table is the best place to talk to others, educate oneself about any of the topics. Such insights are not provided for this new generation human and it is one of the factors why personal congregations are not seen. In similar fashion, knowledge of cultural practices is also gained from conversations at the table, in olden days, which is not being obtained due to less frequent or no gatherings. Such meetings are also indicative of the traditions of our country, not having those will not provide us the platform to learn about them. In conclusion, rapidly growing advancements in all the industries, globalization of markets and lack of enlightenment on traditions led to a society that has no time for friendly family gatherings. This forced people to stay in solitude with minimal interactions. Also, we are on the verge of losing focus of our culture.
The culture of getting together at home, be it a lunch, dinner or breakfast is vanishing at a
fast
pace. It is
barely
evident that
people
belonging to a family brunch or dine together in this modern world. In my opinion,
fast
moving and
self-centred
busy
lives
of individuals, and minimal or no knowledge and emphasis on the importance of such
get
together practices are primary reasons for such fall outs which may result in serious issues such as no empathy or communication among the family members, obliteration of customs and associated problems.

In olden
days where
there is no technology, the
lives
of the public are more focused, organized and limited.
However
, in this new era where we run and work on machines, life has become mechanical, communication and exposure is global. There is no time for fellow human beings. Working hours are erratic and
different
from others. All these factors created an environment where we rarely have common free hours to interact and share a meal time. This situation resulted in poor information exchange about each other's
lives
,
ultimately
resulting in minimal bonding and empathy among them.

The dining table is the best place to talk to others, educate oneself about any of the topics. Such insights are not provided for this new generation human and it is one of the factors why personal congregations are not
seen
. In similar fashion, knowledge of cultural practices is
also
gained from conversations at the table, in olden days, which is not
being obtained
due to less frequent or no gatherings. Such meetings are
also
indicative of the traditions of our country, not having those will not provide us the platform to learn about them.

In conclusion
,
rapidly
growing advancements in all the industries, globalization of markets and lack of enlightenment on traditions led to a society that has no time for friendly family gatherings. This forced
people
to stay in solitude with minimal interactions.
Also
, we are on the verge of losing focus of our culture.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons and what are the impacts? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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