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The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing What are the reasons What are the impacts on families and societies v.1

The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing What are the reasons What are the impacts on families and societies v. 1
In the modern life, families do not have foods together as they used to be in the past. This change led to several problems on either families or societies. In this essay, I will be discussing these problems along with the causes of this concerning change in tradition. There are various factors contributed to the transformation of family’s eating habits. Firstly, due to the difference between work and study schedule in the present and the past, family members are now no longer be able to go home at the same time so it is difficult for them to have meals together. Secondly, the intense amount of works is also made a huge impact on this change in family’s eating. Employees or even the CEO of the company often go home late because there are plenty of works to deal with, as a result, they usually buy foods online and eat while they are doing their tasks. Finally, since the invention of fast foods, people are likely to eat at the fast foods stores rather than cooking at home because of it convenient. For instance, in Vietnam, many parents give their children money to buy fast foods so instead of going home and cook lunch or dinner for them, they will stay at their company to finish their businesses. This tradition alteration has caused several issues both in families and the society. Since people no longer gather for meals, they will not be able to share their stories and the bond between family members will be faded by time. The understanding between parents and their children are also be limited and eventually, at some point, parents will no longer understand their children which would create conflicts. Moreover, the disappearance of this tradition will make a huge impact on the society since in special occasions people do not feel the need to organize a family reunion so these occasions might be forgotten in the future. In conclusion, the transformation of family meals is the result of myriad factors which have caused several in the families as well as in societies. The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on families and societies? The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts on families and societies?
In the modern life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
together as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
led to several problems on either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
. In this essay, I will be discussing these problems along with the causes of this concerning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in tradition.

There are various factors contributed to the transformation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
eating habits.
Firstly
, due to the difference between work and study schedule in the present and the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
no longer be able to go home at the same time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is difficult for them to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
together.
Secondly
, the intense amount of works is
also
made a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
eating. Employees or even the CEO of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go home late
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of works to deal with,
as a result
, they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
online and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
while they are doing their tasks.
Finally
, since the invention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
stores
rather
than cooking at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it convenient.
For instance
, in Vietnam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents give their children money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
instead
of going home and cook lunch or dinner for them, they will stay at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to finish their businesses.

This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
alteration has caused several issues both in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. Since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
no longer gather for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
, they will not be able to share their stories and the bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members will
be faded
by time. The understanding between parents and their children are
also
be limited
and
eventually
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point, parents will no longer understand their children which would create conflicts.
Moreover
, the disappearance of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
since in special occasions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not feel the need to organize a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
reunion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these occasions might
be forgotten
in the future.

In conclusion
, the transformation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is the result of myriad factors which have caused several in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as well
as in societies.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
famliy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
together to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
? The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tradition
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
famliy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
together to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
?
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
39Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The tradition that famliy gets together to eat meals is disappearing What are the reasons What are the impacts on families and societies v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
394 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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