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The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages. v.1

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages. v. 1
The menace of nuclear machine gun supports the earth balance. Despite the nuclear rifle is the main key to containing national interests of countries, it is a hazardous tool to destroy our planet. In my opinion, in this globalizing nature the humanity should give up from this pistol for supporting peace, and start solving conflicts through the international law. The greatest benefit from the nuclear machete is that it provides the guarantee for peace, and creates a fear response between the emerging countries. When ambition of powerful countries is increasing, they start off invasions and try to establish the hegemony. The history shows that the main reasons for this are territorial and economic interests. The growing of population is triggered the countries such as the USA, China, India to demonstrate their power to the countries of the third world. Theory the classical realism claims that the International Organizations will not able to insure the world peace until the countries will grow their military powers. The experience of the nuclear powers of countries has been led to a massive consequences for the world. Utilizing the nuclear firearm has the detrimental effects on health of generations and the environment. For example, although the Soviet Union has tested the nuclear weapon in our territory three decades ago, it still has caused a hazard obstacle for extinction of people around the city Semey. Hence, it is clearly shown that consequence of using this cannon impact on not only for people, but also for our environment. In conclusion, nuclear revolver has more disadvantages than advantages for humanity.
The menace of nuclear machine gun supports the earth balance. Despite the nuclear rifle is the main key to containing national interests of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it is a hazardous tool to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our planet. In my opinion, in this globalizing nature the humanity should give up from this pistol for supporting peace, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
solving conflicts through the international law.

The greatest benefit from the nuclear machete is that it provides the guarantee for peace, and creates a fear response between the emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. When ambition of powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is increasing, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off invasions and try to establish the hegemony. The history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the main reasons for this are territorial and economic interests. The growing of population
is triggered
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as the USA, China, India to demonstrate their power to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the third world. Theory the classical realism claims that the International Organizations will not able to insure the world peace until the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will grow their military powers.

The experience of the nuclear powers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has
been led
to a massive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "consequence"?
consequences
for the world. Utilizing the nuclear firearm has the detrimental effects on health of generations and the environment.
For example
, although the Soviet Union has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
the nuclear weapon in our territory three decades ago, it
still
has caused a hazard obstacle for extinction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the city
Possible spelling mistake found.
Semey
.
Hence
, it is
clearly
shown that consequence of using this cannon impact on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for our environment.

In conclusion
, nuclear revolver has more disadvantages than advantages for humanity.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The threat of nuclear weapons maintains the world peace. The benefits of nuclear technology far out-weight the disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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