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The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harm to the individuals and the society as a whole To what extent do you agree or disagree v.4

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harm to the individuals and the society as a whole v. 4
In recent times, media has been in the limelight and has aroused the wide concern for the pernicious effects associated with it. Some people are of the fervent conviction that focusing on negative and urgent issues is detrimental to the society. From my perspective, I partially agree this view. There are several reasons why media coverage related to problems and urgent issues is proven to bring enormous benefits for both the social and citizens. Firstly, it is responsibility of the mass media to cover negative issues such as the natural disaster, which allows people to protect them from the potential financial loss and physical injury. To take a concrete example, new reports from the television programs covering the information about tsunami and earthquake of the central of Vietnam set the pivotal platform for warning the government and inhabitants. Secondly, the environmental pollution topics from the mass media is of great necessity for protecting the environment. Indeed, it not only raises the public’s awareness of protecting habitant but also catch the government’s attention to this phenomenon. However, the excessive reports on problems negatively influence the behavior of people, as well as the journalist’s conduct. It is obvious that when people are exposed to too much news about crimes or accidents, they will lose the sense of security. As a result, they become over-cautious and suspicious of the others which lead to have difficulties to build interpersonal relationship. Moreover, it encourages journalists to create bad stories and deliver the exaggerated news. Indeed, some people believe that the dramatic and exciting news is easy to draw the public’s attention, they tend to write their articles with the emphasis of negative parts of the stories so that their newspapers will sell well. Therefore, it will result in face news and unreal stories. In conclusion, although the bad news create the felling of anxiety and uncomfortable to a large number of audiences, they are unavoidable in current information. The government and the citizens can learn to solve the problems.
In recent times,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been in the limelight and has aroused the wide concern for the pernicious effects associated with it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the fervent conviction that focusing on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
and urgent issues is detrimental to the society. From my perspective, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this view.

There are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage related to problems and urgent issues
is proven
to bring enormous benefits for both the social and citizens.
Firstly
, it is responsibility of the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to cover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues such as the natural disaster, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to protect them from the potential financial loss and physical injury. To take a concrete example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
reports from the television programs covering the information about tsunami and earthquake of the central of Vietnam set the pivotal platform for warning the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and inhabitants.
Secondly
, the environmental pollution topics from the mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is of great necessity for protecting the environment.
Indeed
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
raises the public’s awareness of protecting habitant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
catch the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s attention to this phenomenon.

However
, the excessive reports on problems
negatively
influence the behavior of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
as well
as the journalist’s conduct. It is obvious that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are exposed
to too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about crimes or accidents, they will lose the sense of security.
As a result
, they become over-cautious and suspicious of the others which lead to have difficulties to build interpersonal relationship.
Moreover
, it encourages journalists to create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
stories and deliver the exaggerated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the dramatic and exciting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is easy to draw the public’s attention, they tend to write their articles with the emphasis of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
parts of the stories
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that their newspapers will sell well.
Therefore
, it will result in face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and unreal stories.

In conclusion
, although the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
create the felling of anxiety and uncomfortable to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
audiences, they are unavoidable in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
information. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the citizens can learn to solve the problems.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harm to the individuals and the society as a whole v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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