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The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. v. 1
Nowadays, as means to attract viewers, a bevy of news reports and article alternatively shift the focus from ongoing positive advancement to daily problems. This drastic change has led to conflicts among a great deal of people who usually read the news to understand what is happening with their surroundings. In my perspective, I would say that the tendency to change is more beneficial than adverse. To begin with, while many people believe that the sudden change brings more potential harm as less people can get access to modern era’s technology, it is also undeniable that urgent problems will eventually go unnoticed if social media continues with the traditional methods. This can be exemplified by the rural areas or developing countries. Africa is the continent with the most number of underdeveloped countries, the destitute condition means unless the media reported problems pertain to the continent, Africa may not receive aid from other developed nations. The indifference of traditional social media can render such emergencies without any adequate help. On the other hand, when declaring a report about new advancement to the public, it is indispensable that people are able to grasp the knowledge up to a certain point. Writing an article that no one can comprehend is considered to be wasteful. The news reports are meant to be fundamental and less academic requisitioned as possible to avoid the misconception of a handful amount of people. In conclusion, despite the conventional belief that it is a must for the media to report news associated with positive developments, I believe the problems should be taken more into account. The idea of focusing more on emergencies is more advantageous rather than exacerbating the society as a whole.
Nowadays, as means to attract viewers, a bevy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
and article
alternatively
shift the focus from ongoing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
advancement to daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. This drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has led to conflicts among a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
usually
read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
to understand what is happening with their surroundings. In my perspective, I would say that the tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is more beneficial than adverse.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the sudden
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
brings more potential harm as
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to modern era’s technology, it is
also
undeniable that urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
will
eventually
go unnoticed if social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
continues with the traditional methods. This can
be exemplified
by the rural areas or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. Africa is the continent with the most number of underdeveloped countries, the destitute condition means unless the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
reported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
pertain to the continent, Africa may not receive aid from other developed nations. The indifference of traditional social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can render such emergencies without any adequate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

On the other hand
, when declaring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
advancement to the public, it is indispensable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to grasp the knowledge up to a certain point. Writing an article that no one can comprehend
is considered
to be wasteful. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reports
are meant
to be fundamental and less academic requisitioned as possible to avoid the misconception of a handful amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, despite the conventional belief that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
report
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments, I believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
should
be taken
more into account. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of focusing more on emergencies is more advantageous
rather
than exacerbating the society as a whole.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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