Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.8

For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. v. 8
Teachers and parents both play a huge role in a student's success. It is argued that, although it is parents who nurture their children, but a tutor has a greater impact on developing their intelligence and social behaviour. This essay agrees that it is the educator that has a superiour role than parents both in academics and morals. Firstly, It is the teacher's task to foster learning. They provide more comprehensive learning and make the student brighter in terms of academic performance. For instance, even though parents have all the information and knowledge regarding the subject, not all of them are equipped with the skills to teach them. Therefore, it is the mentor who can make it easier to comprehend and provide a strong foundation. A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination and instill a love of learning. Secondly, teaching not only includes theoretical knowledge but also morals and behaviour. These principles guide a person throughout life and make them better humans. For example, in kindergarten, the little one's are taught to share toys and to greet elders. These are the small steps taken towards becoming a good hearted adult. Hence, it is commonly said that an influence of a good schoolteacher can never be erased. In conclusion, it is debatable if it's the mother and father or the teacher who has a bigger effect on school children's intelligence and social upbringing. In the light of the above factors, I firmly believe that the teacher has a larger impact on the child.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
both play a huge role in a student's success. It
is argued
that, although it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who nurture their children,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a tutor has a greater impact on developing their intelligence and social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that it is the educator that has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
superiour
role than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
both in academics and morals.

Firstly
, It is the teacher's task to foster learning. They provide more comprehensive learning and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the student brighter in terms of academic performance.
For instance
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have all the information and knowledge regarding the subject, not all of them
are equipped
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to teach them.
Therefore
, it is the mentor who can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it easier to comprehend and provide a strong foundation. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
can inspire hope, ignite the imagination and instill a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
of learning.

Secondly
, teaching not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
includes theoretical knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
morals and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. These principles guide a person throughout life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them better humans.
For example
, in kindergarten, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
one's
are taught
to share toys and to greet elders. These are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
steps taken towards becoming a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
good hearted
adult.
Hence
, it is
commonly
said that an influence of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
schoolteacher can never
be erased
.

In conclusion
, it is debatable if it's the mother and father or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
who has a bigger effect on school children's intelligence and social upbringing. In the light of the above factors, I
firmly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
has a larger impact on the child.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay For school children, their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts