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The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. v. 3
It is believed by some that mainstream media channels focus most of their attention on the problems and urgent issues in society, rather than on positive news, and this trend is harmful to people. I partly agree with this Idea because such a tendency involves both positive and negative impacts. On the one hand, a higher frequency of news stories focusing on negative aspects of society is not a good thing, and can have detrimental effects on people’s mental state. For example, news about terrorism and war has become so common in the media that some people may hesitate to travel abroad in fear of suffering from a terrorist attack. Secondly, it can also lead people to have a misunderstanding about many aspects within society, which should be given greater respect and recognition. For example, many tabloids, such as Dispatch of Korea or 14Channel of Vietnam, have always reported on the scandals of celebrities, which can mislead the public into believing in the flaws of showbiz, whereas in reality, it is an industry where many people have made many great contributions to society. On the other hand, the focus on negative issues rather than positive developments is legitimate to some extent. Firstly, the media can be seen as an effective way to spread the news, to even the most remote places, and this can help to bring people together in order to solve serious problems. The more people that are informed about issues, the sooner they can be solved. Secondly, it can help to raise awareness amongst citizens. The more negative stories appear in the media, the higher chance that people will become aware of it and take action towards a solution. For instance, news coverage about cancer has now become a common topic in the media, and as a result, a large amount of people have switched to a healthier lifestyle. In conclusion, the media has good reason to report on all issues, although the accompanying negative impacts need to be considered.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that mainstream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
channels focus most of their attention on the problems and urgent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in society,
rather
than on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, and this trend is harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such a tendency involves both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts.

On the one hand, a higher frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspects of society is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing, and can have detrimental effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental state.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about terrorism and war has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
common in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may hesitate to travel abroad in fear of suffering from a terrorist attack.
Secondly
, it can
also
lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have a misunderstanding about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects within society, which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
greater respect and recognition.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tabloids, such as Dispatch of Korea or 14Channel of Vietnam, have always reported on the scandals of celebrities, which can mislead the public into believing in the flaws of showbiz, whereas in reality, it is an industry where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great contributions to society.

On the other hand
, the focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
developments is legitimate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an effective way to spread the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, to even the most remote places, and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together in order to solve serious problems. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
are informed
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, the sooner they can
be solved
.
Secondly
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to raise awareness amongst citizens. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
stories appear in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, the higher chance that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become aware of it and take action towards a solution.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
coverage about cancer has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become a common topic in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, and
as a result
, a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have switched to a healthier lifestyle.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to report on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
, although the accompanying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts need to
be considered
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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