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Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. Discuss both views. v.2

Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. v. 2
In this technological era, media plays a vital role in the terms of spread news all over the world. Some folks consider that media should reveal all the detailed knowledge about anyone's thoughts. However, others do not agree with it and they believe that it should be limited. This essay will discuss both sides of the discussion. To begin with, few people think that the media have a right to show the information about what is the point of everyone about any particular situation? This step will provide an awareness of the whole world in a different viewpoint which will help the public to know about that heir role model personality and their liking or disliking. For instance, if a person speaks about any crime negatively or positively, then insane can predict that if they are following the right person or not. In this way, people can take advantage and so that media should publish everyone' views. On the other side, these people think that it is not good to show everyone' views to the public. This will increase the hate level among population for that celebrity which might tend to the worst situation. For example, of a personality is saying something wrong, which might hurt the feelings of viewers, then they may be stand against that character, and try to harm his/her which is totally wrong for both public as well as that person. To conclude, media is the way to provide reports about the latest trend in the population and it become always the controversial topic, whether the media should reveal the information about anyone or not. This essay discussed both the sides in depth.
In this technological era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays a vital role in the terms of spread news all over the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should reveal all the detailed knowledge about anyone's thoughts.
However
, others do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they believe that it should
be limited
. This essay will discuss both sides of the discussion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the information about what is the point of everyone about any particular situation? This step will provide an awareness of the whole world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoint which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the public to know about that heir role model personality and their liking or disliking.
For instance
, if a person speaks about any crime
negatively
or
positively
, then insane can predict that if they are following the right person or not. In this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can take advantage and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should publish everyone' views.

On the other side, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
everyone' views to the public. This will increase the hate level among population for that celebrity which might tend to the worst situation.
For example
, of a personality is saying something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, which might hurt the feelings of viewers, then they may be
Consider using a past participle here: "stood".
stand
against that character, and try to harm his/her which is
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for both public
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
that person.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the way to provide reports about the latest trend in the population and it
The adverb 'always' is usually put before the verb 'become'.
become always
the controversial topic, whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should reveal the information about anyone or not. This essay discussed both the sides in depth.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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