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The television is good for people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

The television is good for people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 2
There is an issue about the influence of television on society. Some media presenters think that it is advantageous to the public, while some social workers argue that it creates many problems. This essay will consider the pros and cons of this source of information. Let us start with the advantages of spending time watching television. The first positive side is that people are aware of new products in the market through advertisements on TV. TV viewers usually know about the emergence of either high-quality products or burning travel package, so they can purchase them earlier than those who ignore this sort of media. Another merit is that they always have fresh topics from television programs to discuss. People can have heated discussions with others, such as classmates and colleagues, about what they learn from TV, while the rest have nothing to keep the conversation going. Furthermore, television gives people the opportunity to relax. People, who are subjected to hard work, can relieve stress, because they can entertain themselves by different TV programs as well as movies. Despite the positives effects of television, it has many demerits. Firstly, TV audience waste too much time. People could do more household chores, if they devoted less time to watching different channels, unproductively lying on the sofa. Secondly, they also receive a great deal of unnecessary information from TV. Television is mostly full of useless talk shows, which enlighten nothing meaningful, but constant family quarrels as well as the private life of celebrities. Moreover, TV viewers tend to gain excessive weight. They gradually becomes plump over time, if they spend overly much time in front of TV motionless, which usually results in obesity. In conclusion, even though television cause many advantages, it also has many negative sides, which people have to deal with, if they are squandering a lot time watching TV.
There is an issue about the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
on society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
media presenters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is advantageous to the public, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social workers argue that it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems. This essay will consider the pros and cons of this source of information.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the advantages of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. The
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
side is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are aware of new products in the market through advertisements on TV. TV viewers
usually
know about the emergence of either high-quality products or burning travel package,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
them earlier than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
this sort of media. Another merit is that they always have fresh topics from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
programs to discuss.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can have heated discussions with others, such as classmates and colleagues, about what they learn from TV, while the rest have nothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the conversation going.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to relax.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, who
are subjected
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work, can relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can entertain themselves by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
TV programs
as well
as movies.

Despite the positives effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
demerits.
Firstly
, TV audience waste too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could do more household chores, if they devoted less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
channels,
unproductively
lying on the sofa.
Secondly
, they
also
receive a great deal of unnecessary information from TV.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is
mostly
full of useless talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, which enlighten nothing meaningful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
constant family quarrels
as well
as the private life of celebrities.
Moreover
, TV viewers tend to gain excessive weight. They
gradually
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "become".
becomes
plump over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, if they spend
overly
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of TV motionless, which
usually
results in obesity.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with, if they are squandering a lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
watching TV.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The television is good for people. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of watching television. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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