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some people think that in the morden society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. while other say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

some people think that in the morden society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. while other say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. v. 1
In current scenario, dependency is burgeoning day by day on technology and each other. Some folks urge that mankind, now-a-days, are becoming more dependent on each other. However, it is well reckoned by others that they become more independent on other populace. Nevertheless, in my opinion, human beings become dependent on others for their every work. On the side of the coin, humans perform their activity by their own. Therefore, some said that they become independent. firstly, because of new gizmos, people work easily and freely without any obstacles. As a result, one can perform their activity in faster and smarter way. To quote an example, person can withdraw money from automated machine instead of standing in long quae and devoid of any kind of exertion which can be considered as a paragon. Secondly, plethora of people opt to work by self rather than giving task to others for their conveniency. To cite an example, employees of industry choose to work by self for their comfortness and also after doing this they can update self for their work also. On the other side of the coin, due to sedentary lifestyle, mankind, in recent era, become couch potato. Initially they are becoming lazy and careless day-by-day because of advance technology. hence, they always try to give their task to others. To be more specific, youngsters always give order to the children or small one from them for their work. Moreover, in some organization generation-X think that they assign their work to the generation-Y. henceforth, they are delaying to perform their work. To illustrate, in hospital old age staff always wait for other staff or junior staff member who perform their activities that stands as a paragon. To conclude, with the help of ultra modern technology, people becoming more active. Nonetheless, it has some ripple effects hence, they become more and more dependent.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, dependency is burgeoning day by day on technology and each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks urge that mankind,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
-a-days, are becoming more dependent on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
However
, it is well reckoned by others that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more independent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
populace.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion, human beings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
dependent on others for their every work.

On the side of the coin, humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their activity by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
said that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
independent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of new gizmos,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
easily
and
freely
without any obstacles.
As a result
, one can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their activity in faster and smarter way. To quote an example, person can withdraw money from automated machine
instead
of standing in long
Possible spelling mistake found.
quae
and devoid of any kind of exertion which can
be considered
as a paragon.
Secondly
, plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by self
rather
than giving task to others for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveniency
. To cite an example, employees of industry choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by self for their
Possible spelling mistake found.
comfortness
and
also
after doing this they can update self for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the coin, due to sedentary lifestyle, mankind, in recent era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
couch potato.
Initially
they are becoming lazy and careless day-by-day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advance technology.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
, they always try to give their task to others. To be more specific, youngsters always give order to the children or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
one from them for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organization generation-X
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they assign their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to the generation-Y.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
henceforth
, they are delaying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To illustrate, in hospital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age staff always wait for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
staff or junior staff member who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
perform
their activities that stands as a paragon.

To conclude
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of ultra modern technology,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
becoming more active. Nonetheless, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ripple effects
hence
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more and more dependent.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay some people think that in the morden society individuals are becoming more dependent on each other. while other say that individuals are becoming more independent of each other. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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