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Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications Do you agree or disagree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. . . . Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications . . . v. 1
Mass media have a powerful influence in shaping our lives. Some people believe that more positive news stories should be delivered by the media, and I do agree with this statement as it would bring happiness in people's lives, and build trust towards governments. To begin with, the addition of more good headlines would bring positivity among people. The reason for this is that every individual, regardless of age, becomes more optimistic after watching good content on TV. For instance, news of the discovery of novel medicine for any fatal disease helps the individuals to believe in science. In contrast, if bad news, such as robbery and murders would be published excessively in the newspaper, then the readers become pessimistic and live in fear. Therefore, it is crucial for news editors keep in mind about the attitude of the public before telecasting the particular news. Another point to consider is that the printing of hopeful information would build trust among the citizens. In other words, they might start believing and supporting their leaders if they read the reports of their accomplishments. A research study revealed that in the countries where citizens have lesser faith in their authorities, more protests used to occur because they doubt most of their government's policies. Moreover, nowadays, negative news is quite common, consequently, it becomes a need to telecast the cover stories, which would bring cheer over the faces of folks. In conclusion, although media organisation should deliver crucial news-reports, additional cheerful stories would bring joy in the lives of people. In my opinion, additional good news would increase the sense of security among common public, leading to boosted confidence towards the authorities.
Mass media have a powerful influence in shaping our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
stories should
be delivered
by the media, and I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement as it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
happiness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, and build trust towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the addition of more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
headlines would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
positivity among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
The reason for this is
that every individual, regardless of age, becomes more optimistic after watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
content on TV.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
of the discovery of novel medicine for any fatal disease
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the individuals to believe in science.
In contrast
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, such as robbery and murders would
be published
excessively
in the newspaper, then the readers become pessimistic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in fear.
Therefore
, it is crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
editors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in mind about the attitude of the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
telecasting the particular news.

Another point to consider is that the printing of hopeful information would build trust among the citizens.
In other words
, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
believing and supporting their leaders if they read the reports of their accomplishments. A research study revealed that in the countries where citizens have lesser faith in their authorities, more protests
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to occur
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they doubt most of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's policies.
Moreover
, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is quite common,
consequently
, it becomes a need to telecast the cover stories, which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
cheer over the faces of folks.

In conclusion
, although media
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
should deliver crucial news-reports, additional cheerful stories would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
joy in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In my opinion, additional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
would increase the sense of security among common public, leading to boosted confidence towards the authorities.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Nowadays media should include more good news in their publications . . . v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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