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The table shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999 v.1

The table shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999 v. 1
The question of how to learn a foreign language has become increasingly important in recent years as business has become more international. Although there are a number of effective ways, l am convinced that living in a country where that language is spoken is the most efficient way of learning. Traditionally, people have learned languages as part of a large group in a classroom. This has the advantage of providing many opportunities to practise what you learn with a number of different people. In addition, the fees for this form of education are usually reasonable, since a large number of people are taught at once. However, the size of the group means that more demands are placed on the teacher's time. Students may not get the individual attention they require to improve. The amount of individual attention you receive is certainly an advantage of working with a private tutor. Also, the student can work at a pace which is comfortable for them. On the other hand, working with a private tutor can lack the social element, which is crucial in learning to communicate well in a foreign language. It can also prove to be beyond the means of many people. By far the most natural way to acquire a language is to go where it is spoken. Not only is every social interaction a chance to practise, but you are also exposed to the real, living language. As well as that, you are able to acquire a natural accent by imitating the people around you. This is not to say, of course, that there are not drawbacks. Many people suffer from culture shock away from home, and it can be very difficult to integrate into a foreign culture. In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of going to another country to learn far outweigh the disadvantages, making it the best option.
The question of how to learn a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
has become
increasingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in recent years as business has become more international. Although there are a number of effective ways, l
am convinced
that living in a country where that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is spoken
is the most efficient way of learning.

Traditionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
as part of a large group in a classroom. This has the advantage of providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
what you learn with a number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, the fees for this form of education are
usually
reasonable, since
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taught
at once.
However
, the size of the group means that more demands
are placed
on the teacher's time. Students may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the individual attention they require to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.

The amount of individual attention you receive is
certainly
an advantage of working with a private tutor.
Also
, the student can work at a pace which is comfortable for them.
On the other hand
, working with a private tutor can lack the social element, which is crucial in learning to communicate well in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. It can
also
prove to be beyond the means of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

By far the most natural way to acquire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is to go where it
is spoken
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is every social interaction a chance to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practise' is British English.
practise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you are
also
exposed to the real, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
As well
as that, you are able to acquire a natural accent by imitating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around you. This is not to say,
of course
, that there are not drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from culture shock away from home, and it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to integrate into a foreign culture.

In conclusion
, I would argue that the advantages of going to another country to learn far outweigh the disadvantages, making it the best option.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The table shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999 v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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