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The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant v.6

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.
The given table demonstrates information about poverty families’ proportion in six different types with total households in Australia in 1999. Overall, it could be clearly seen that about 1837 thousand Australian families were in poor status and their proportion of living was very low in the provided year. The category of sole parents had biggest readings of poverty of all other families, while single aged persons had the poorest testimony of life in all Australia. Moreover, single aged person households in proportion had 6 per cent of misery. In contrast, category without children had in 3 times more percentage of poverty at the same time. Couples with children had in 2 times better level of life than couples who had children with them (12%). It obvious that all households without children had less misery than families with children. In addition, it means that their children did not play any role in money.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table demonstrates information about poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families’
proportion in six
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types with total households in Australia in 1999.
Overall
, it could be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that about 1837 thousand Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
were in poor status and their proportion of living was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low in the provided year.

The category of sole parents had
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
readings of poverty of all other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, while single aged persons had the poorest testimony of life in all Australia.
Moreover
, single aged person households in proportion had 6 per cent of misery.
In contrast
, category without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had in 3 times more percentage of poverty at the same time. Couples with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had in 2 times better level of life than couples who had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with them (12%).
It seems that a verb is missing after "It". Please verify.
It
obvious that all households without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had less misery than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
In addition
, it means that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
did not play any role in money.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
152 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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