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the line graph shows visits to and from the uk from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by uk residents in 1999. summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevan v.1

the line graph shows visits to and from the uk from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by uk residents in 1999.
Youth crimes are becoming a massive issue at the present time. Despite the fact that adolescence is supposed to be the most interesting period in teenagers' lives, many of them choose the wrong direction, commit crimes, and waste a potential period of time. However, some steps and procedures could be taken to overcome this issue. To begin with, the predominant factor in the widespread of this phenomenon is the lack of parental control. While families nowadays depend on dual-income parents to face the demanding lifestyle, the dedicated time for their offsprings is narrowing. Therefore, less control and monitor is an expected outcome. For this reason, crime rates were double the percentage among teenagers who belong to working parents rather than single-income families as shown by recent research published in the American Youth magazine. Another factor to law-breaking among adolescents is considered to be the absence of censorship over media material such as movies, TV shows, and even cartoons. There is a direct link between the amount of violence in media productions and crimes committed in schools, according to a study conducted by a group of researchers in the UK with some high school students. If there is a certain control over these materials, the number of youth crimes may decline. Nevertheless, in my opinion, some actions could be taken to tackle this trend. Unless true monitoring is done by the parents, this issue will continue to flourish. Dual-income families have to manage time to their offsprings, look out for their friends, and help them engage in more activities. If youngsters are directed towards the right decisions, a large portion of this phenomenon will be resolved. This also has to be in parallel with more control over media productions, and how to limit certain ages from being exposed to hateful shows that instill that awful behaviour among them. Therefore, government interaction is a must to overcome this problem. In conclusion, it is widely seen that youth crimes are expanding, and I believe that the lack of parental control and media censorship are the elements that feed this phenomenon. However, some actions could be made by parents and governments to tackle this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are becoming a massive issue at the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Despite the fact that adolescence
is supposed
to be the most interesting period in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
direction, commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, and waste a potential period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps and procedures could
be taken
to overcome this issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the predominant factor in
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
this phenomenon is the lack of parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
. While families nowadays depend on dual-income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to face the demanding lifestyle, the dedicated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
is narrowing.
Therefore
, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
and monitor is an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
outcome.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates were double the percentage among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who belong to working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
rather
than single-income families as shown by recent research published in the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Youth
magazine.

Another factor to law-breaking among adolescents
is considered
to be the absence of censorship over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
material such as movies, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, and even cartoons. There is a direct link between the amount of violence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
productions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
committed in schools, according to a study conducted by a group of researchers in the UK with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high school students. If there is a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
over these materials, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
may decline.
Nevertheless
, in my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions could
be taken
to tackle this trend. Unless true monitoring
is done
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, this issue will continue to flourish. Dual-income families
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
, look out for their friends, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them engage in more activities. If youngsters
are directed
towards the right decisions, a large portion of this phenomenon will
be resolved
. This
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be in parallel with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
productions, and how to limit certain ages from
being exposed
to hateful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that instill that awful
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
among them.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
interaction is a
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
overcome this problem.

In conclusion
, it is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are expanding, and I believe that the lack of parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
control
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
censorship are the elements that feed this phenomenon.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
actions could
be made
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to tackle this.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay the line graph shows visits to and from the uk from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by uk residents in 1999.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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