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The table below describes the number of people (in million) who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The table below describes the number of people (in million) who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005.
Although, others consider that resting the mind during leisure time is significantly beneficial, many still argue that doing activities during free time to enhance the brain function is more important. In my view, I believe that utilizing the free time to rest the mind should be practiced more as it can benefit the individual health-wise. On the one hand, a lot think that resting the brain instead of doing activities to improve it during leisure time can bring health advantages to people and I agree. Firstly, it can improve the mental health of individuals as resting the mind can help in regenerating new brain cells. These new cells are needed for people to function, mentally, especially at work or during school hours. Secondly, many who choose to rest their minds in their free time are known to be emotionally healthy. This is because a relaxed brain often corrects hormonal imbalances, which could be vital in stabilizing emotions. As a result, individuals who are mentally well-rested, get to have better control of their feelings, therefore improving their overall health. On the other hand, others think that doing something to improve the brain function has more importance than resting it during free time due to some benefits. One would be the practice that their minds get especially with problem solving. Children who play puzzles, for instance, are known to have more capacity to solve difficult question and build ideas or concepts as they become adults. Another benefit of doing activities, such as reading, during leisure time is that it improves a person’s vocabulary. By doing so, people can have a wider range of words to use in speaking or writing, thus helping them to become better in communication. In conclusion, using leisure time to rest the mind is more important than doing activities to improve brain function as it can greatly help individuals with their mental and emotional health.
Although, others consider that resting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
significantly
beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my view, I believe that utilizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
should
be practiced
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
it can benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
health-wise.

On the one hand, a lot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that resting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
it during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can bring health advantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the mental health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
as resting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in regenerating new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
cells. These new cells
are needed
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
, mentally,
especially
at work or during school hours.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who choose to rest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are known
to be
emotionally
healthy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a relaxed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
corrects hormonal imbalances, which could be vital in stabilizing emotions.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who are mentally well-rested,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to have better control of their feelings,
therefore
improving their
overall
health.

On the other hand
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
has more importance than resting it during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits. One would be the practice that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
especially
with problem solving. Children who
The usual collocation for an activity that does not end in "-ing" and is not something you can win is "do" not "go" or "play." Revise: "do puzzles".
play puzzles
,
for instance
,
are known
to have more capacity to solve difficult question and build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
or concepts as they become adults. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, such as reading, during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improves
a person’s vocabulary. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can have a wider range of words to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in speaking or writing,
thus
helping them to become better in communication.

In conclusion
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to rest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
function
as it can
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
with their mental and emotional health.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below describes the number of people (in million) who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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