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The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). v.1

The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). v. 1
Traffic gridlock is a serious problem. A number of believe that the best way to lessen traffic stalemate is to implement several stern acts while others claim that road safety can be increased by taking other concrete steps. The essay will argue both views and put forward some evidences as to why stringent punishments will assist to decrease traffic casualty. Those people who are in favour of exemplary penalty indicate some rules. Firstly, the drivers who do not renew driving license should be fined severely. Therefore, for the fear of forfeit, they will be compelled to make driving permit. Secondly, if cars are driven their opposite side or to flout the traffic codes, the transport will be obfuscated as well as the driver will be imprisoned. For example, recently, the Bangladesh government has revealed various highways protection laws for both drivers and cars to decline the road distress. Some people, however, express a variety of substantial actions to be effectual in public road security. First of all, the government along with some non-government organization which work for the well being of human society should campaign throughout the country to remain alert to individuals concerning the dire necessities of route codes. As a result, people will be cautious. Next, more distinct pathways such as flyovers, foot over bridge, single roads should be erected. Consequently, for specific types of transport will have fixed lane as a result to avoid collision and confrontation of vehicles. For instance, Singapore, a couple of years ago, constructed more than 30 flyovers, over a bridge to make a facile approach for persons and to conserve ordinary people from any hazard. To conclude, the essay discussed both views and reached a conclusion as to why to come into force of some severe laws and castigations will be conducive to forbear street injury.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Traffic
gridlock is a serious problem. A number of believe that the best way to lessen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
stalemate is to implement several stern acts while others claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety can
be increased
by taking other concrete steps. The essay will argue both views and put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidences as to why stringent punishments will assist to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
casualty.

Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of exemplary penalty indicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
Firstly
, the drivers who do not renew driving license should
be fined
severely
.
Therefore
, for the fear of forfeit, they will
be compelled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
driving permit.
Secondly
, if cars
are driven
their opposite side or to flout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
codes, the transport will
be obfuscated
as well
as the driver will
be imprisoned
.
For example
, recently, the Bangladesh
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has revealed various
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "highways'" or "highway's"?
highways
protection laws for both drivers and cars to decline the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
distress.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, express a variety of substantial actions to be effectual in public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
security.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
non-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
organization which work for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of human society should campaign throughout the country to remain alert to individuals concerning the dire necessities of route codes.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be cautious.
Next
, more distinct pathways such as flyovers, foot over bridge, single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
should
be erected
.
Consequently
, for specific types of transport will have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
lane
as a result
to avoid collision and confrontation of vehicles.
For instance
, Singapore, a couple of years ago, constructed more than 30 flyovers, over a bridge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a facile approach for persons and to conserve ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from any hazard.

To conclude
, the essay discussed both views and reached a conclusion as to why to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into force of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe laws and
Possible spelling mistake found.
castigations
will be conducive to forbear street injury.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The table describes the changes of people who went for international travel in 1990, 1995, 2000 and 2005. (million). v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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