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The students discuss two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Describe the problem. Then state which of the two solutions you prefer and explain why. v.1

The students discuss two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Describe the problem. Then state which of the two solutions you prefer and explain why. v. 1
Some people prefer to watch movies on their own smart devices as it can be more convenient and reasonably-priced. However, I agree with those who think that for feeling the full excitement, films should be watched in a cinema. Watching movies on cell phones or tablets is more convenient and a lot less expensive rather than going to cinemas. Seeing films by mobiles or tablets allows film lovers to decide how they want to sit or to wear. For instance, some are keen on watching movies while they are wearing a loose and comfortable clothes and relax on their beds. Furthermore, seeing films on smartphone is considerably reasonable rather than cinemas. For going cinema, you should pay to commute, ticket, and some expensive snacks from cinemas’ buffet. However, for watching films on phones, should only pay to download them which is reasonably-priced. On the other hand, for completely enjoying a film you should go cinema because having high technology equipment, cinema offers numerous visual and sound effects which cannot show by cell phones and tablets. As a result, these features can help audience to engage and connect with the film, and feel more thrill than watching it at home with a tiny screen. Furthermore, in cinemas people can watch movies without any disruption as some of them put a special equipment to jam the mobile networks, once you enter the hall you cannot receive a call or massages. In conclusion, I agree with those who think that the thriller that you experience in the cinema cannot be replaced by seeing films on cell phones or tablets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
smart devices as it can be more convenient and
reasonably
-priced.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that for feeling the full excitement, films should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in a cinema.

Watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets is more convenient and a lot less expensive
rather
than going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
. Seeing films by mobiles or tablets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
film lovers to decide how they want to sit or to wear.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are keen on watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
while they are wearing a loose and comfortable clothes and relax on their beds.
Furthermore
, seeing films on smartphone is
considerably
reasonable
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
. For going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, you should pay to commute, ticket, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expensive snacks from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas’
buffet.
However
, for watching films on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pay to download them which is
reasonably
-priced.

On the other hand
, for completely enjoying a film you should go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
having high technology equipment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
offers numerous visual and sound effects which cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
by cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets.
As a result
, these features can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
audience to engage and connect with the film, and feel more thrill than watching it at home with a tiny screen.
Furthermore
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
without any disruption as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them put a special equipment to jam the mobile networks, once you enter the hall you cannot receive a call or massages.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the thriller that you experience in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
cannot
be replaced
by seeing films on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
or tablets.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The students discuss two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Describe the problem. Then state which of the two solutions you prefer and explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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