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tpo6. task1. talk about a place you enjoy visiting when you where a child. describe place explain why you enjoyed it v.1

tpo6. task1. talk about a place you enjoy visiting when you where a child. describe place explain why you enjoyed it v. 1
Construction of railways is debatable. In some countries, people believe that the government should spend huge amount of money for building subways and trains, while others think that it should be spent on improving existing roads. This essay will discuss both views and provide reasons and examples why the first one is more superior than the latter. On the one hand, constructing railways may solve the problem of traffic congestion, which is a major problem being faced by most countries around the globe. For example, when there is an increase number of railways, there will be more subways and trains available for people. In addition, it will lessen the use of private cars and public transports such as taxi and buses. On the other side, road expansion may also help in traffic jams. However, due to increasing private vehicles, it may also be a problem in a long run. In addition, improving existing public transportation is much cheaper compared to fabricating railways. Although it does not guarantee a long term result. In my opinion, it is better to invest in railways because aside from helping to ease traffic issues, it also lessens the air pollution produced by a large scale of cars and other vehicles. For example, in Singapore, they utilized subways and trains more as compared to other type of transportation. In addition, it is considered as one of the cleanest countries due to reduced air pollution. In conclusion, it is evident that developing an existing public transportation is cheaper, but building railways are more practical.
Construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is debatable. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend huge amount of money for building subways and trains, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it should
be spent
on improving existing roads. This essay will discuss both views and provide reasons and examples why the
first
one is
The adjective 'more' is normally used with to and does not need 'more' (so called implicit comparative). Probably you need to write: "superior to".
more superior than
the latter.

On the one hand, constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
may solve the problem of traffic congestion, which is a major problem
being faced
by most countries around the globe.
For example
, when there is an increase number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
, there will be more subways and trains available for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
, it will lessen the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private cars and public transports such as taxi and buses.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, road expansion may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in traffic jams.
However
, due to increasing private vehicles, it may
also
be a problem in a long run.
In addition
, improving existing public transportation is much cheaper compared to fabricating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
it does not guarantee a long term result.

In my opinion, it is better to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
aside from helping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
traffic issues, it
also
lessens the air pollution produced by a large scale of cars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
vehicles.
For example
, in Singapore, they utilized subways and trains more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
type of transportation.
In addition
, it
is considered
as one of the cleanest countries due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
air pollution.

In conclusion
, it is evident that developing an existing public transportation is cheaper,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are more practical.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo6. task1. talk about a place you enjoy visiting when you where a child. describe place explain why you enjoyed it v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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