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The students discusses two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Describe the problem. Then state which of the two solutions you prefer and explain why. v.1

The students discusses two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Describe the problem. Then state which of the two solutions you prefer and explain why. v. 1
Currently, there is a debate about whether the most significant environmental problems the planet is experiencing will be fixed by technology. I somewhat agree that technology will play an important part in environmental issues. There is no doubt that technology has a crucial role in many sectors and have several benefits to the following industries; health care system, economy, water resources, etc. in particular, on the environment, which has been proven in many cases in the past. In other words, technology has reduced the number of destruction of property and loss of life when we are facing natural disasters. For instance, in 2007, the Thai government has received an emergency notification to evaluate people to safer areas due to Tsunami was approaching and about to hit the south of Thailand. As a result, technology has saved several lives in Thailand, and If we do not have the technology the circumstance would have been worsen. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case that we cannot rely only on technology machinery only and expect it to solve every environmental problem. People should also need to take responsibility and stop doing something that create bad impacts of the world such as throwing plastics in the oceans, disobey regulation and release emit CO2 emissions as well as deforestation. In conclusion, I would concede that technology is an important tool, which helps to reduce a number of impacts which caused by natural disasters. However, most environmental issues are created by humans. Therefore, humans also need to take action and responsibility for their behaviour in order to fix a crucial environmental problems.
Currently
, there is a debate about whether the most significant
environmental
problems the planet is experiencing will be
fixed
by
technology
. I somewhat
agree
that
technology
will play an
important
part in
environmental
issues.

There is no doubt that
technology
has a crucial role in
many
sectors and have several benefits to the following industries; health care system, economy, water resources, etc.
in particular
, on the environment, which has
been proven
in
many
cases in the past.
In other words
,
technology
has
reduced
the number of destruction of property and loss of life when we are facing natural disasters.
For instance
, in 2007, the Thai
government
has received an emergency notification to evaluate
people
to safer areas due to Tsunami was approaching and about to hit the south of Thailand.
As a result
,
technology
has saved several
lives
in Thailand, and If we do not have the
technology
the circumstance would have been
worsen
.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
make
the opposing case that we cannot rely
only
on
technology
machinery
only
and
expect
it to solve every
environmental
problem.
People
should
also
need to take responsibility and
stop
doing something that create
bad
impacts of the world such as throwing plastics in the oceans, disobey regulation and release emit CO2 emissions
as well
as deforestation.

In conclusion
, I would concede that
technology
is an
important
tool, which
helps
to
reduce
a number of impacts which caused by natural disasters.
However
, most
environmental
issues
are created
by humans.
Therefore
, humans
also
need to take action and responsibility for their
behaviour
in order to
fix
a crucial
environmental
problems
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The students discusses two possible solutions to the woman's problem. Describe the problem. Then state which of the two solutions you prefer and explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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