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Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay. v.1

Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay. v. 1
In today’s world, running a successful business is extremely challenging because of intense competition. Hence, some believe that marketing and promotion of a commercial venture is critical to its success. I completely agree with this point of view. Firstly, actively marketing and promoting your business by means of newspaper advertisements and distribution of brochures make more customers in your locality aware of your products and services. This can most definitely accelerate the growth of your business, as against relying on ‘word of mouth’ publicity for increasing your clients. For example, if there is a store which sells high quality electronic items, but people do not know about its existence, it may not be able to achieve the desired sales. Through these publicity tools, you can also update potential buyers regarding new products and discount offers, thereby increasing footfalls. Secondly, digital marketing by means of google, facebook and other such online portals, customers can get all the information regarding your products and services instantly. This can also give you an even wider reach beyond your locality. This means that anybody who has a smartphone and requires your products, can get in touch with you at the click of a button. According to a recent article, more and more people are now preferring to search for their requirements online before making a decision to purchase. Therefore, if businesses do not have any online presence, they will miss out on a very large customer base. To conclude, publicising your business actively will not only generate a greater number customers faster, but also educate customers regarding your product offerings and help them make buying decisions. Thus, in my opinion, it is imperative for businesses to have a proper marketing strategy for increased chances of success.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, running a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
is
extremely
challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of intense competition.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promotion of a commercial venture is critical to its success. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

Firstly
,
actively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
and promoting your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
by means of newspaper advertisements and distribution of brochures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
in your locality aware of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services. This can most definitely accelerate the growth of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, as against relying on ‘word of mouth’ publicity for increasing your clients.
For example
, if there is a store which sells high quality electronic items,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not know about its existence, it may not be able to achieve the desired sales. Through these publicity tools, you can
also
update potential buyers regarding new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and discount offers, thereby increasing footfalls.

Secondly
, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
by means of google,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and other such online portals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the information regarding your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services
instantly
. This can
also
give you an even wider reach beyond your locality. This means that anybody who has a smartphone and requires your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with you at the click of a button. According to a recent article, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
preferring to search for their requirements online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
do not have any online presence, they will miss out on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
base.

To conclude
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'publicising' is British English.
publicising
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
actively
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
generate a greater number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
faster,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
regarding your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
offerings and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
buying decisions.
Thus
, in my opinion, it is imperative for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
to have a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
strategy for increased chances of success.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that they can learn better by themselves than with a teacher. Others think that it is always better to have a teacher. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to develop your essay. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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