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TPO 02 - Question 5The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Describe the problem and the two solutions. Then explain what you think the woman should do and why. v.1

TPO 02 - Question 5The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Describe the problem and the two solutions. Then explain what you think the woman should do and why. v. 1
In the twenty-first century, the issue of criminal activities has gained significant attention in many countries. Generally speaking, while people might behave illegally because of their nurture, I believe that people break the laws due to the environment. To begin with, there are some reasons why some people believe that people break legal regulations based on their personality traits. Firstly, aggressive and impatient people would probably behave against the laws easily. This is due to the fact that such groups would usually try to use violence to solve problems, and hence they might become outlaws. Secondly, people who are greedy would perhaps challenge legal legislations. In order words, people who desire to become exceptional affluent would possibly rob the bank or steal credit cards in order to make quick money. Indeed, based on these personality traits, criminals do not obey the law. However, I feel that the environment would be the main reason to push people to commit illegal actions. For one thing, poor living conditions would lead to people acting against legal regulations. Petty criminals, for example, pickpocket strangers when it comes to meeting their basic needs. For another, wealth inequality would result in an ever-growing crime rate as well. That is, people would perform anti-social behaviors out of jealousy as long as they learn about the fantastic and untouchable upper-class lifestyles. As a result, the environment seems the major issue of an increasing crime rate. To sum up, although some reasons indicate that the personality traits would cause people to commit the crime, I consider that people would behave against the legal regulations because of the environment.
In the twenty-
first
century, the issue of criminal activities has gained significant attention in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
Generally
speaking, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might behave
illegally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their nurture, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break the laws due to the environment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
regulations based on their personality traits.
Firstly
, aggressive and impatient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
probably
behave against the laws
easily
.
This is due to the fact that
such groups would
usually
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
violence to solve problems, and
hence
they might become outlaws.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are greedy would perhaps challenge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
. In order words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who desire to become exceptional affluent would
possibly
rob the bank or steal credit cards in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
quick money.
Indeed
, based on these personality traits, criminals do not obey the law.

However
, I feel that the environment would be the main reason to push
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit illegal actions. For one thing, poor living conditions would lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
acting against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
regulations. Petty criminals,
for example
, pickpocket strangers when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to meeting their basic needs. For another, wealth inequality would result in an ever-growing crime rate
as well
.
That is
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would perform anti-social behaviors out of jealousy as long as they learn about the fantastic and untouchable upper-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
lifestyles.
As a result
, the environment seems the major issue of an increasing crime rate.

To sum up, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons indicate that the personality traits would cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to commit the crime, I consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would behave against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
legal
regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay TPO 02 - Question 5The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Describe the problem and the two solutions. Then explain what you think the woman should do and why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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