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The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Describe the problem and the two solutions. Then explain what you think the woman should do and why. v.8

The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Describe the problem and the two solutions. Then explain what you think the woman should do and why. v. 8
The human race has been created in such a way where men feel more competitive than the women. This is a well known fact, since the start of the world. I tend more towards the side where the women definitely make more effort to compete. I would agree slightly with the above topic. However, In this essay we shall discuss why a few people would beg to differ and some may agree with the statement. Even now humans are of the opinion that the men are naturally more eager to win in any given scenario. Most of the freedom fighters have always been men, whether the Hitler or Mahatma Gandhi. They had the urge to win over the intruders and became victorious. In the field of corporate, as we move up the ladder 90 percent of the top management are the self proclaimed stronger sex. They have a greater amount of ego. In a game of a mere chess, he would hate losing to the woman. This is how a man has been brought up in this world that you are superior than the opposite sex and you cannot lose. For example, the kind of domestic violence that happens in the country is only because he cannot see his lady does better than him in any way. He tries to control her. Finally, this has been the plight in many countries and looks like now things are changing for the better where even woman are coming up as a natural competitor. On the other hand, she need not be naturally ferocious. As they are inherently built so strong by the creator. They are coming up in all the fields, whether in the field of sports or even establishing businesses. They are everywhere from acting to directing to going to space to leading the country. Furthermore, they led by example and are emotionally more stable. Being recognized on par with a man has been the biggest accomplishment for the opposite sex. To conclude, we are in the world of equals. In context to the question, I would agree by saying it comes very easy for a man to be competitive as it's in their genes. I would also say that yes, we woman are not far behind and are in fact are more superior human beings.
The human race has
been created
in such a way where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
feel more competitive than the women. This is a well known fact, since the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the world. I tend more towards the side where the women definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more effort to compete. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
slightly
with the above topic.
However
, In this essay we shall discuss why a few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would beg to differ and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement.

Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
humans are of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
are
naturally
more eager to win in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
scenario. Most of the freedom fighters have always been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
, whether the Hitler or Mahatma Gandhi. They had the urge to win over the intruders and became victorious. In the field of corporate, as we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
up the ladder 90 percent of the top management are the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self proclaimed
stronger sex. They have a greater amount of ego. In a game of a mere chess, he would hate losing to the woman. This is how a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has
been brought
up in this world that you are
Some adjectives derived from Latin act as both adjective and comparative. In these cases use the collocation 'to'
superior than
the opposite sex and you cannot lose.
For example
, the kind of domestic violence that happens in the country is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
his lady does better than him in any way. He tries to control her.
Finally
, this has been the plight in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and looks like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
things are changing for the better where even woman are coming up as a natural competitor.

On the other hand
, she need not be
naturally
ferocious.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
they are
inherently
built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong by the creator. They are coming up in all the fields, whether in the field of sports or even establishing businesses. They are everywhere from acting to directing to going to space to leading the country.
Furthermore
, they led by example and are
emotionally
more stable.
Being recognized
on par with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
has been the biggest accomplishment for the opposite sex.

To conclude
, we are in the world of equals. In context to the question, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
by saying it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to be competitive as it's in their genes. I would
also
say that yes,
Possible mistake. Please verify.
we woman
are not far behind and are in fact are more superior human beings.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The speakers discuss two possible solutions to the woman’s problem. Describe the problem and the two solutions. Then explain what you think the woman should do and why. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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