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Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. To what extent do you agree? v.8

Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. v. 8
There is a view that the innate ability is a mandatory requirement to be successful in any sport. However, some believe that regular practice and hard work can bring success to a great extent. This essay will discuss both the perceptions and provide my opinion in favour of the latter. To begin with, people with an inborn skill to do any sport have a tendency to learn it faster than anyone else and become successful. This makes them outperform others who lack such ability. Besides that, such people demonstrate an accentuated level of self-motivation to perform well at a sports activity, which in turn enhances their performance naturally. On the other hand, it is an undeniable fact that the practice along with determination makes a person perfect. I favour those who hold the thought that any skill can be mastered, if a person showcases a blend of efforts and regular exercise in performing a task. This is more common with cases like sports, because the more you practice, the better you’ll become at it. In contrast, because of the absence of the natural ability, it might take time to hone the required skills, but it will lead to success if dedicated efforts are put in. However, if one possesses a strong inclination towards learning any sport, it may increase the chances of being successful because, the person with a desire to walk the extra mile will achieve the goal in the long run. In conclusion, although the people who possess the natural ability to do any sport may be successful because of more speed to learn and a high level of self-motivation, I believe that with practice and determined efforts, comes success in any area.
There is a view that the innate
ability
is a mandatory requirement to be
successful
in any
sport
.
However
,
some
believe that regular
practice
and
hard
work can bring success to a great extent. This essay will discuss both the perceptions and provide my opinion in
favour
of the latter.

To
begin
with,
people
with an inborn
skill
to do any
sport
have a tendency to learn it faster than anyone else and become
successful
. This
makes
them outperform others who lack such
ability
.
Besides
that, such
people
demonstrate an accentuated level of self-motivation to perform well at a
sports
activity, which in turn enhances their performance
naturally
.

On the other hand
, it is an undeniable fact that the
practice
along with determination
makes
a person perfect. I
favour
those who hold the
thought
that any
skill
can
be mastered
, if a person showcases a blend of efforts and regular exercise in performing a task. This is more common with cases like
sports
,
because
the more you
practice
, the better you’ll become at it.
In contrast
,
because
of the absence of the natural
ability
, it might take time to hone the required
skills
,
but
it will lead to success if dedicated efforts
are put
in.
However
, if one possesses a strong inclination towards learning any
sport
, it may increase the chances of being
successful
because
, the person with a desire to walk the extra mile will achieve the goal in the long run.

In conclusion
, although the
people
who possess the natural
ability
to do any
sport
may be
successful
because
of more speed to learn and a high level of self-motivation, I believe that with
practice
and determined efforts,
comes
success in any area.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientists and technology experts seem to be more valued by modern society than musicians and artists. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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