Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. v.5

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. v. 5
There is no denying the fact that advertisement plays a vital role in human life. The advertisement is the backbone of commerce and industry. It is a source of information as well as the source of entertainment. It is important for us. These days are the days of marketing. We cannot think of life without advertisement. Without advertisements, life is like a fish without water. No businessman or industrialist can ever hope of tapping the market without proper advertisement. Advertisements are all around us - on television, radio and newspaper. Apropos to above parable about the conversation, many people hold the opinion that advertisement is an important part of our life because the advertisement is the best way to educate the people. For instance, they inform the people about new products, their uses, merits and other similar products available in the market. Moreover, many advertisements are issued by the government agencies, NGOs, and social welfare organisation which have great value in education the people. Furthermore, advertisements raise the standard of living of the people. On the flip side, those who disagree with this point of view mention that those advertisements have their disadvantages because they distort and exaggerate reality. In addition to it, they aim at profits. Furthermore, another objection is that many advertisements are bad for that they provide the wrong information to the people. Besides this, the producers have become profit hungry. They throw the moral values to the winds. To conclude, I pen down by stating that advertisements put deep influence on the people’s mind. Some advertisements advise people the direction of the right path. Good advertisements help the people to choose the right products and make informed decisions.
There is no denying the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
plays a vital role in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the backbone of commerce and industry. It is a source of information
as well
as the source of entertainment. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us. These days are the days of marketing. We cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is like a fish without water. No businessman or industrialist can ever hope of tapping the market without proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
are all around us
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
on television, radio and newspaper.

Apropos to above parable about the conversation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is the best way to educate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, they inform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about new products, their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
, merits and other similar products available in the market.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are issued
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies, NGOs, and social welfare
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
which have great value in education the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
raise the standard of living of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the flip side, those who disagree with this point of view mention that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have their disadvantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they distort and exaggerate reality.
In addition
to it, they aim at profits.
Furthermore
, another objection is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for that they provide the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Besides
this, the producers have become profit hungry. They throw the moral values to the winds.

To conclude
, I pen down by stating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
put deep influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the direction of the right path.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to choose the right products and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
informed decisions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts