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Some people believe the society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. However, others argue that there are still some advantages to adverts. discuss both view and give your opin v.2

Some people believe the society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. However, others argue that there are still some advantages to adverts. 2
The beneficial effect of advertisement is debatable. Some people are of the view that prohibiting different advertising can bring benefits and would eliminate its negative results. This essay will discuss why advertisements can be brought about detrimental effects but why their advantages nor should deny. On the one hand, there is no doubt that the advertising industry has made trouble in some cases. It is more likely to persuade people to buy their unreal needs. Using tricks and catchy slogan at public places in forms of banners, posters, and flyers, also, broadcasting at TV could impact on unconscious minds of people in order for consuming useless products. As a result, if the trend of society consumerism, it would be possible that the resources have been depleted. However, it may not correct to say that there should be deterrent because of the thoughtlessness of a minority of people, it seems appealing in the deeper inspection. On the other hand, raising awareness and lowering price is of the great positive points of putting an advertisement in newspaper, social media, streets and other places. For example, most of them appeared at markets offer a discount on several products and it leads to people can choose the most affordable goods. Moreover, the majority of advertisements give information about products and their services. Therefore, it gives the opportunity to people to find their needs accurately and conveniently. Overall, it can be said that advertisement not only do individuals introduce products but also enable them to make the intelligent choice. I believe that although consumerism might happen through advertising, the advantages outweigh the drawback.
The beneficial effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is debatable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the view that prohibiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advertising can bring benefits and would eliminate its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results. This essay will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can
be brought
about detrimental effects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why their advantages nor should deny.

On the one hand, there is no doubt that the advertising industry has made trouble in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. It is more likely to persuade
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their unreal needs. Using tricks and catchy slogan at public places in forms of banners, posters, and flyers,
also
, broadcasting at TV could impact on unconscious minds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order for consuming useless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
As a result
, if the trend of society consumerism, it would be possible that the resources have
been depleted
.
However
, it may not correct to say that there should be deterrent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the thoughtlessness of a minority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it seems appealing in the deeper inspection.

On the other hand
, raising awareness and lowering price is of the great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of putting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in newspaper, social media, streets and other places.
For example
, most of them appeared at markets offer a discount on several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose the most affordable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Moreover
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
give information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and their services.
Therefore
, it gives the opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find their needs
accurately
and
conveniently
.

Overall
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do individuals introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
enable them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the intelligent choice. I believe that although consumerism might happen through advertising, the advantages outweigh the drawback.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe the society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. However, others argue that there are still some advantages to adverts. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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