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Some think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. v.1

Some think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. v. 1
It is considered by some that doing exercise is important to improve health while some believe that balance diet is more vital. However, in my opinion, both, exercise and a balanced diet are equally essential to stay healthy, as both have benefits for the human body in different ways. On the one hand, exercise keeps different body organs active and energetic. One has to move different body organs while doing exercise which makes body flexible, fresh and rejuvenated all the time. For instance, simple exercises like running, jogging, and skipping make our body parts move constantly, and, as a result, metabolism rate increases, blood flows easily within the veins, controls blood pressure, sugar level, and other kinds of physical ailments caused due to inactiveness. On the other hand, balanced diet is, too, vital in providing the nutrition needed by the body. If our body lacks different vitamins, for example, vitamin A, we might face problems with our eyesight. Similarly, different body organs need various nutrients and minerals that we get from vegetables, fruits, and other sources.   If we do not take sufficient amount of nutrition, then, we may suffer from malnutrition that may lead to other forms of diseases. Thus, a balanced diet is equally important to maintain healthy lifestyle In conclusion, to maintain a healthy body, disease free, one most do exercise regularly, and include balanced diet in their meals, as well, to provide essential nutrients that the body needs to function well. In my point of view, as exercise and balanced diet aid in improving our health in different manners, we must not ignore one over the other.
It
is considered
by
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some
that doing
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exercise
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that balance diet is more vital.
However
, in my opinion, both,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet are
equally
essential to stay healthy, as both have benefits for the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ways.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
organs active and energetic. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
organs while doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
flexible, fresh and rejuvenated all the time.
For instance
, simple
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exercises
like running, jogging, and skipping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
parts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
constantly
, and,
as a result
, metabolism rate increases, blood flows
easily
within the veins, controls blood pressure, sugar level, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kinds of physical ailments caused due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
inactiveness
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet is, too, vital in providing the nutrition needed by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
. If our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
lacks
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
vitamins,
for example
, vitamin A, we might face problems with our eyesight.
Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
organs need various nutrients and minerals that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from vegetables, fruits, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
If we do not take sufficient amount of nutrition, then, we may suffer from malnutrition that may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
forms of diseases.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to maintain healthy lifestyle

In conclusion
, to maintain a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
, disease free, one most do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
, and include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet in their meals,
as well
, to provide essential nutrients that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
needs to function well. In my point of view, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet aid in improving our health in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
manners, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
one over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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