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people believe the society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. However, others argue that there are still some advantages of adverts. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

people believe the society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. However, others argue that there are still some advantages of adverts. v. 1
The city is more desirable place to live in rather than the rural areas. There could be a number of causes of this issue and that could bring some negative results. However, it is possible to solve the problems in some ways. On the one hand, people tend to live in a big metropolitan rather than a small suburb due to increasing living standards in the cities. A lot of things affect that people are moving to the city. To be exemplified, not only unemployment is more faced in the rural areas, but also education providers mostly placed in the city. Moreover, poor condition of infrastructure, which is another establishing cause. Therefore, young generations want to learn and work in the city. These problems might bring a number of drawbacks, in other words, it extends a gulf between the amount of people in the rural and the city. If no longer people live in the countryside, it could lead to a myriad of negative effects in both places. For instance, overcrowded streets, congested roads, and increase of city density that all could happen in the city. Whereas, in the small towns where a lot of problems will appear such as increase of derelict buildings, decrease of young labour power. However, it could be prevented if the government takes the draconian measures. Firstly, regenerating towns near the cities in order to give them a desirable place to live. Furthermore, give a chance to live in the rural areas do their work. For example, making new roads between the cities and the out settlements in order to develop infrastructure. Also, give more money to the rural authorities to increase workplace for the youngsters. In conclusion, increasing living standards in the cities more than the towns. Even if there were a number of causes, if government takes measures correctly, it could ease. I think authorities should work closely with this statement.
The city is more desirable place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas. There could be a number of causes of this issue and that could bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results.
However
, it is possible to solve the problems in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
metropolitan
rather
than a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
suburb due to increasing living standards in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
things affect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are moving to the city. To
be exemplified
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
unemployment is more faced in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
education providers
mostly
placed in the city.
Moreover
, poor condition of infrastructure, which is another establishing cause.
Therefore
, young generations want to learn and work in the city.

These problems might bring a number of drawbacks,
in other words
, it extends a gulf between the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
and the city. If no longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the countryside, it could lead to a myriad of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects in both places.
For instance
, overcrowded streets, congested roads, and increase of city density that all could happen in the city. Whereas, in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
towns where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems will appear such as increase of derelict buildings, decrease of young
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
power.

However
, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes the
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Draconian".
draconian
measures.
Firstly
, regenerating towns near the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
in order to give them a desirable place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
Furthermore
, give a chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
areas do their work.
For example
, making new roads between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and the out settlements in order to develop infrastructure.
Also
, give more money to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
authorities to increase workplace for the youngsters.

In conclusion
, increasing living standards in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
more than the towns. Even if there were a number of causes, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
takes measures
correctly
, it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
authorities should work
closely
with this statement.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay people believe the society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. However, others argue that there are still some advantages of adverts. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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