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The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. v.4

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. v. 4
It is a fact that advertisements are now widespread on mass media. Some people believe that these do not serve any beneficial purposes and even spoil the society. There should be an advertising restriction to hinder their negative impacts on customers. So everything has its own pros and cons and that is why someone rightly said that all that glitters is not gold. It is understandable that people want to remove advertisements from our lives because advertisements can be disturbing, therefore the pumping out of advertisement on the internet is distractive when doing research online and insertion of ads during TV dramas and movies is obnoxious. Moreover, advertisements are sometimes misleading and cause impulsive purchase thus the exaggeration and eye-binding techniques employed in the advertisement overshadow the true function of products and the consumers, especially the young people, would fall victims to this intensive commercial completion. On the other side, it is irrefutable that the proponents of advertisement argue that it is unfair to ban advertisement because it is the only efficient and viable way to show their products. If the advertisement is eradicated then the link between products and consumers would be cut off. Without advertisement, companies would find it hard to reach out to their customers. Consequently, giant companies would manipulate the market and small companies would never be known by the public. Furthermore, advertisement provides more options to consumers. To draw the conclusion, I pen down by stating that advertisement is disturbing now and then, there is realistic need of it. The government should make them more trustworthy. Nowadays, the advertisement is an inescapable and necessary existence.
It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
widespread on mass media.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that these do not serve any beneficial purposes and even spoil the society. There should be an advertising restriction to hinder their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on customers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
everything has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pros and cons and
that is
why someone
rightly
said that all that glitters is not gold.

It is understandable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
from our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can be disturbing,
therefore
the pumping out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on the internet is
Possible spelling mistake found.
distractive
when doing research online and insertion of ads during TV dramas and movies is obnoxious.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
misleading and cause impulsive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
thus
the exaggeration and eye-binding techniques employed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
overshadow the true function of products and the consumers,
especially
the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, would fall victims to this intensive commercial completion.

On the other side, it is irrefutable that the proponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
argue that it is unfair to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
efficient and viable way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their products. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is eradicated
then the link between products and consumers would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
off. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reach out to their customers.
Consequently
, giant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would manipulate the market and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would never
be known
by the public.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
provides more options to consumers.

To draw the conclusion, I pen down by stating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is disturbing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then, there is realistic need of it. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more trustworthy. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is an inescapable and necessary existence.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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