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The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. To waht extent do do agree or disagree? v.2

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. To waht extent do do agree or disagree? v. 2
The online study programs are increasingly becoming popular among the people nowadays. However, some still prefer the traditional way of learning rather than following the online courses. In my view, I believe there are a great many benefits of the internet based learning. To begin with, one of the primary arguments of those who like conventional method is the authenticity of the online materials. Because there are many links available for a particular subject stream, it is always hard to decide which one is the best or which one contains the real information regarding their area of study. Moreover, there are certain advantages in the teacher based education system. First and foremost, each student can get individual attention from the instructor and this will result in student identifying their weak areas and eventually end up improving those areas. Another benefit is the chance of asking questions in this environment that will really help to clear-out any doubts in pupils mind. However, modern online study methods able to address most of this pressing matters and have characteristics that are specific it itself. For example, a person can learn anything they would like irrespective of his or her physical location. Due to the rapid growth of telecommunication sector, now we can access the internet anywhere using our phones and laptops. Hence, one can follow lessons anywhere it prefers to, it may be on the bus, train. This particular advantage of online education helps us to spend our precious time efficiently. Furthermore, in recent time, they have introduced the concept of the webinar, which is same as the traditional way of education. There is an instructor and students. Also, this would be live and the only difference is the physical location between the teacher and the followers. In conclusion, although, classroom based traditional education ways has certain aspects that it make most preferred among some people, recent development in telecommunication field has helped to catch up to those by introducing concepts such as webinars and it has helped students to save their valuable time.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
study programs are
increasingly
becoming popular among the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
nowadays.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
prefer the traditional way of learning
rather
than following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses. In my view, I believe there are a great
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of the internet based learning.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the primary arguments of those who like conventional method is the authenticity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
materials.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
links available for a particular subject stream, it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to decide which one is the best or which one contains the real information regarding their area of study.
Moreover
, there are certain advantages in the teacher based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
First
and foremost, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
individual attention from the instructor and this will result in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
identifying their weak areas and
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up improving those areas. Another benefit is the chance of asking questions in this environment that will
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
-out any doubts in pupils mind.

However
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
study methods able to address most of this pressing matters and have characteristics that are specific it itself.
For example
, a person can learn anything they would like irrespective of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
physical location. Due to the rapid growth of telecommunication sector,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can access the internet anywhere using our phones and laptops.
Hence
, one can follow lessons anywhere it prefers to, it may be on the bus, train. This particular advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to spend our precious time
efficiently
.
Furthermore
, in recent time, they have introduced the concept of the webinar, which is same as the traditional way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. There is an instructor and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Also
, this would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
difference is the physical location between the teacher and the followers.

In conclusion
, although, classroom based traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
ways has certain aspects that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
most preferred among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, recent development in telecommunication field has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to catch up to those by introducing concepts such as webinars and it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to save their valuable time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. To waht extent do do agree or disagree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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