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The society would benefit from a ban o all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the opinion? v.2

The society would benefit from a ban o all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. with the opinion? v. 2
Advertising is a sign of our times; it is everywhere. from my public to my private life, from SMS messages on my phone to the back of toilet door, to TV screens in the supermarkets, on the streets and in elevators. But does it ever serve a purpose other than to tell me how pitiful my life is without a certain product? Advertising might be like medicine; not nice but necessary from time to time. When we want to buy a new computer or go on a holiday, some of us will do two things; do some online research and then check out the best deals online or in the paper. This works for us; we get the right information at the right time. And we are grateful. On another day, we may be strolling in the street with our friends enjoying the sunshine, but then a large TV screen jumps into life telling us the merits of a certain shampoo, or a certain car model. This is intrusive, distracting and perhaps even dangerous as it makes vision in the street more difficult. But advertising pay for things that I enjoy; it pays for the TV programmes I watch, the TV screens that help me pass the time on the public transport system, and subsidizes the newspaper I read online. It, however, does seem that sometimes there is too much, that it is too pervasive and too intrusive. But to completely eliminate it from our everyday life would be an unwise decision. We have to live with it, but maybe some respect for the consumers might be nice.
Advertising is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
; it is everywhere.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
from
my public to my private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, from SMS messages on my phone to the back of toilet door, to TV screens in the supermarkets, on the streets and in elevators.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
does it ever serve a purpose other than to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me how pitiful my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is without a certain product?

Advertising might be like medicine; not nice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
necessary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. When we want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new computer or go on a holiday,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of us will do two things; do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
online research and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
out the best deals online or in the paper. This works for us; we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the right information at the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. And we are grateful.

On another day, we may be strolling in the street with our friends enjoying the sunshine,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then a large TV screen jumps into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
telling us the merits of a certain shampoo, or a certain car model. This is intrusive, distracting and perhaps even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
vision in the street more difficult.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
advertising pay for things that I enjoy; it pays for the TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
, the TV screens that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me pass the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the public transport system, and subsidizes the newspaper I read online.

It,
however
, does seem that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
there is too much, that it is too pervasive and too intrusive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to completely eliminate it from our everyday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be an unwise decision. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
respect for the consumers might be nice.
1Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The society would benefit from a ban o all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. with the opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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