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The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. To waht extent do do agree or disagree? v.6

The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. To waht extent do do agree or disagree? v. 6
Many people belive that all kinds of advertisements should be prohibited as they bring no practical values and even negatively affect customers. While the excessive proliferation of commercials may exert detrimental impacts on people, I still belive that the governments should not impose a ban on advertising. On the one hand, the surge in the quantities of advertisements can have a negative influence on consumers. First, rather than being well-informed bout a new line of products, people now are bombarded with all kinds of advertisements not only on TV but also on the Internet. Such information overload has become a disturbance to many people, especially when their favorite TV programmes are interrupted by irrelevant promotions. Second, some attractive endorsements, which consist of stunning pictures, special effects and strong messages can also encourage people to purchase things that they do not really need. For instance, many young woman are tempted to buy a large number of cosmetic products in order to become more beautiful. However, in reality, most of these products are of little use to consumers. On the other hand, I still belive that it would be a grave detriment to society if all forms of advertising were banned as advertisements play a vital role in creating free market and healthy economy. The basic function of advertisements is to inform people about newly launched products, which is significant for those who are still unware of such products. This means that consumers will have more option to choose, enabling them to purchase better products with cheaper prices. In addition, advertising is also an effective way which business use to promoite their products or services in order to approach potential customers. If governments imposed a ban on all kinds of advertisements, these companies would be pushed to the verge of bankruptcy. This could greatly damage the national economy and result in an increase in unemployment rate. In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks of commercials, there should not be a prohibition against all forms of advertising.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
should
be prohibited
as they bring no practical values and even
negatively
affect customers. While the excessive proliferation of commercials may exert detrimental impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should not impose a ban on advertising.

On the one hand, the surge in the quantities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on consumers.
First
,
rather
than being well-informed bout a new line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are bombarded
with all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the Internet. Such information overload has become a disturbance to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
when their favorite TV
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are interrupted
by irrelevant promotions. Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
attractive endorsements, which consist of stunning pictures, special effects and strong messages can
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things that they do not
really
need.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young woman
are tempted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
cosmetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in order to become more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
However
, in reality, most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to consumers.

On the other hand
, I
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
that it would be a grave detriment to society if all forms of advertising
were banned
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
play a vital role in creating free market and healthy economy. The basic function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is to inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
newly
launched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, which is significant for those who are
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
unware
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This means that consumers will have more option to choose, enabling them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with cheaper prices.
In addition
, advertising is
also
an effective way which business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
promoite
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or services in order to approach potential customers. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
imposed a ban on all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
would
be pushed
to the verge of bankruptcy. This could
greatly
damage the national economy and result in an increase in unemployment rate.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of commercials, there should not be a prohibition against all forms of advertising.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The society would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose and can even be damaging. To waht extent do do agree or disagree? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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